The Purple Hoodie Gang
by C.bcool444
Summary: Crazy crack co-op crossover... This is the result of a bag of chocolate fingers and free time. When worlds collide,  your usual crossover story , some serious work is needed for them to break apart. Mysterious girls in purple hoodies included. Org XIII
1. Chapter 1

**The Purple Hoodie Gang **

**A.N.: ****We own nothing, well, minus a few OCs. Do not read if you value your sanity. Co-op with Froggiecool (Froggie: In fact, I'm writing right now)**

1

Two crazy writers crossover some stuff and get pure crack...

Okay, so first of all were in the akatsuki base! It's dark, there's no one around and something weird is going on. That's right it's a crossover fic.

Kisame is cooking fish (duh), Itachi is writing emo poetry and Kakuzu is counting money... Obviously. Everyone else is in the living room watching TV.

"Bleach is awesome!" Deidara yelled from the sofa.

"Shut the hell up!" Hidan yells back.

Ok. You get the idea. While in the real world...

"FISH MURDERER!" yelled Demyx at Xigbar... Alright, so maybe this isn't the real world. We'll get there later.

Xigbar ignored him, and continued to fry the fish. Demyx looked around frantically, "ZEXI!"

Zexion ignored him with practiced ability.

"XIGBAR'S KILLING THE FISH!"

"Demyx, it's already dead." Zexion muttered over his book.

Demyx started to cry, "Why..."

Roxas chose that moment to walk in with an ice-cream. Demyx stared at him.

"Yes?"

"That-that's FISH ICE-SCREAM!"

"Ice cream, Demyx."

"Everybody hates us! Run away!" Demyx shouted. Roxas looked in amusement.

"I assume that that is not fish ice cream?"

"Uh-huh." came the reply.

_"Everybody, attend a meeting immediately."_ Xemnas called over the newly-installed loudspeaker system.

Zexion closed his book, and sighed, before everyone portalled away.

"Akatsuki world! Akatsuki world!" a dark haired girl cried, fists under her chin, and Jashin necklace in her mouth.

Another girl pretended to ignore her, as she continued to type.

"Yay! Pure crack! Pure crack!"

Both girls laughed hysterically for 5 seconds, before falling into complete silence.

The typing girl passed over the laptop, "Your turn."

Okay this is weird... Moving on!

Back in akatsuki world DUM DUM DUM... ahem Back in akatsuki world...

"Give me the damn remote or someone is getting a toothpick in the eye!" Deidara yelled.

"DEIDARA SEMPAI!" Tobi yelled. "WANNA SEE MY FACE?"

OMG YES!

"No Tobi, un. The world isn't ready for your face."

"Okay sempai. I understand."

He's MADARA! Ahem, I mean crap.

So anyway...

"I sense a disturbance in the force." Itachi mumbled.

"ITACHI! WHAT HAVE I TOLD YOU ABOUT STAR WARS!" Kisame yelled.

"Not to watch it..."

"I thought so."

"_Meeting NOW!" _Pain yelled in italics.

The dark haired girl passed the laptop back, reciting her piece. The other girl smiled slightly, throwing her iPod on the bed... But it landed on the floor.

"Time to get to work..."

Everyone sat in the meeting room of the Castle that Never Was. All of the seats were filled, and Xion sat on the floor by Roxas' chair.

"Meeting in progress," Saix called. Everyone else shut up.

"We have received disturbing news," Xemnas began, "Zero, explain."

A dark corridor opened in the middle of the room, and a singular person stepped out, "One." it muttered. It wore a dark purple hoodie, with the hood pulled down so that only a slight smirk could be seen. It wore a long black skirt, reaching her mid-calf, and brown boots that came slightly above it.

"I said explain."

"Then I shall. Something is coming - portals are opening and those with no knowledge of us shall arrive." her voice was very like Zexion's, just very slightly higher.

Something dark opened above Zexion.

"...and Tobi is insanely annoying, and Hidan DOES want to kill everybody." the dark haired one peered over the other's arms, "We're not saying our names..."she whined.

"Fine then, I'm Bethany, and she's Charlotte." the typist moaned.

"Charley... Charley... Charley..." the other waved her hands around wildly.

"CHARLEY! So, without further adieu..." Bethany said.

Back to me again...

"God Tobi..."

Hidan cleared his throat.

"JASHIN. Tobi."

Itachi walked into the living room with Kisame following wearing a KISS THE CHEF shirt. Kakuzu followed looking bored.

"Glad to see you're all here." Pein said sarcastically.

Hidan flipped him off and Deidara muttered something incomprehensible.

"We have received intelligence from, what did you say your name was?"

"I didn't you assumed I did in a stupid cliché." A girl in a purple hoodie appeared.

Pein nodded. "Okay, what is your name?"

"I'm Ni."

"So what do you want?" Pein sighed.

"The future is in jeopardy!" Itachi cut her off to which she replied with a glare which lasted on for a long time until Pein coughed, annoyed.

"Our universe is going to collide with another, resulting in portals to a new dimension and maybe a cheesy crossover."

"Are we talking BS?"

"Grade A BS."

"What does BS mean?" Obviously Tobi.

"You're way too young to know."

Hidan laughed. "This is the stupidest thing I ever-"

Suddenly a large portal opened sucking them all in.

"But I want to write the bit where Deidara's..." Charlotte kept hold of the laptop.

"NO!" shouted Bethany, grabbing it off her, "We'll write it together. Which means I type." She grabbed a purple hoodie off of the floor, and cloned it for her friend. They pulled them on, with their names written on the backs in white italics.

"Time of some action!" Bethany flipped her hair from her eyes, and returned to the keyboard.

"No, time for some crack!"shouted Charley, "ANd it's FOR some action."

"No, it's of."

"And you've got a big 'n' on the and."

"I'll change it later."

"Can I type now..."

"Nope."

Zexion felt something hit him in the back, knocking him from his unbelievably high throne - three people higher than Vexen's, in fact. He screamed as he fell, and landed on top of the infamous zero. Something else landed on top of him, and many more things around him.

"Zo! Get off me!" Zero shrieked.

"Get off me first!"

"What the hell, un."

Zexion took a deep breath, "Excuse me, mam, but would please mind removing your person from mine?"

"I'm not a girl, un! You're a girl!"

"I am quite certain that that is not true. I doubt this position would be as uncomfortable if I were."

Laughter could be heard from across the room, "Look at how ridiculously high their chairs are!"

"They are not ridiculous." came a dry tone.

"Yes they are." another voice chipped in.

"Not."

"Are."

"Not."

"Are..." the voice pouted.

Zero rolled her hidden eyes, and pushed both Zexion and the other person off of herself, brushing down her skirt.

"Ni, I assume?" she asked to a girl in another hood.

"Hi Nizoxe."

"Why do you guys look so similar?"Demyx whined.

"Because we are the other of each."

"That made sense," another voice said sarcastically.

"Oh, intros!" Ni called, "Pein, Konan, Hidan, Itachi, Kakuzu, Sasori, Kisame, Zetsu, Tobi and that's Deidara." she pointed at the ninja on the floor.

Zero, also known as Nizoxe, smiled dangerously, "Well, these are number 1, Xemnas, Superior of the In-between, number 10, Luxord, the gambler of fate, number 12, Larxene, the savage nymph,"

"Ok, we don't need to hear all the full titles." Hidan butted in. The girl continued regardless.

"number 13, Roxas, the Key of Destiny, number 3, Xaldin, the Whirlwind Lancer, number 2, Xigbar, the Freeshooter, number 8, Axel, the Flurry of Dancing Flames, number 7, Saix, the Lunar Diviner, number 11, Marluxia, the Graceful Assassin, number 4, Vexen, the Chilly Academic, number 5, Lexeaus, the Silent Hero, number 14, Xion. Just Xion. Oh, and number 6," she moved behind Zexion, "Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer."

"Now I wanna do the long names too!" Charley cried.

"As long as I can type," Bethany replied.

"Oh, but I like typing..."

"My laptop."

Ni looked across at Nizoxe, "Show off. Well, then... Pein of the hidden rain village, Konan of the hidden rain village, Hidan of the hidden hot springs village, Itachi Uchiha of the hidden leaf village, Kakuzu of the hidden waterfall village, Sasori of the red sand of the hidden sand village, Kisame Hoshigaki of the..."

"Ok! Cut the crap!" Hidan yelled.

"Yes we should move on and the writers probably getting tired."

Nizoxe glared through her hood, "hidden mist village, Zetsu of the, supposedly, hidden grass village, and Tobi of the hidden leaf village."

"How did you know Tobi was from there?"

"Read the manga... Well the author has... anyway!" Ni replied.

Nizoxe clipped her ear, "No. And Deidara of the hidden rock village."

"How do you know that?" Ni shouted.

Nizoxe smirked again, "12 years is a long time to go with only a library for company."

"Which library?"

"Every library."

"So you HAVE read the manga!"

"And joined the dark side."

"This isn't time for puns."

"I don't make puns. Or the rules."

Charley looked at Bethany, "We might want to cut off at this point guys."

"Guys? WHO'S IN MY BEDROOM!"

Muted screams can be heard from the bedroom.

**1 **


	2. Chapter 2

**The Purple Hoodie Gang **

2

Charlotte sat on Bethany's right, staring at the screen, "So, what do we do now?"

Bethany smiled slightly, nodding along to the iPod she had picked up from the floor, noting that she could feel the chicken pie sauce on her face. She ran her fingers over the keyboard, and began to type.

"Wait!"shouted Charlotte, opening up youtube. She opened up a song, and Bethany swapped the headphones to the computer.

"WOOOOAAAHHH! MONA LISA!"

"CHARLEY!"

"Sorry," continues singing.

Bethany sighed, "Back to the action, dear readers... That sounds... peculiar."

"It's AWESOME!"

Bethany facepalmed in her mind, as her Dad came in.

"Here I've got a present for you." he passed her the bag.

"Ooh! Snowglobe!"

Suddenly, something clicked in Zexion's mind, "Why did you call me Zo?"

"What makes you believe that I was refering to you?" Nizoxe replied.

Zexion glared at you, peeling himself up from where he had been thrown onto the floor.

"Because my somebody was refered to as 'Zo' by family."

Nizoxe smirked, and flicked up her fingers, forming her name in the air - much like when Nobodies were given their names, but silver - and put her finger to the 'X'. She flicked it up, removing the letter, and flicked her letters around. She performed exactly the same actions with Zexion's name.

'Ienzo

'Zieno'

"Oh," Zexion's mouth formed a perfect 'o' shape, before fainting. Nizoxe sighed, and shook her head.

Tobi ran over, and Demyx portalled down, rushing over to him. They both hugged him, at the same time.

"He's ok, Deidara-senpai!"

"Shut the hell up, Tobi."

"Zexi!" shouted Demyx. Vexen frowned at him, "Demyx. You'll choke him if you don't let go."

"Sorry!"he shouted, dropping him to the floor.

Zexion rubbed his head, "Demyx, if you have anything to do with this..."

"No! I promise! It was... that weirdo! Yeah! That one!" he pointed at Tobi.

"No... Tobi is a good boy! It was him! Tobi wouldn't hurt you! Tobi wouldn't hurt anyone!"

"Not TWO Demyxs!" shouted Xaldin.

"More like two Tobis!" Deidara replied.

Zexion and Nizoxe both glared at Demyx, ""And we both know that it is not true."" They said in perfect sync.

Roxas thought for a moment, "Are you another one of his clone? I like Zexion clones! Please say you're a Zexion clone!"

Nizoxe looked at Zexion, "I didn't know that your clones could switch genders."

Zexion looked back, "They can't."

"Hmm they look tasty."

**"They sure do."**

"Zetsu, stop trying to eat people!" shouted an exasperated Ni.

"No, I'm not his clone, but you are close." Nizoxe leaned in toward him, "One more guess before you get let loose."

Zexion assumed his thinking pose, "It is impossible... But yet... You are here."

"WOOOOOAAAAHHH!"sang Charley.

"WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGING!" yelled Bethany, too annoyed to phrase it as a question.

"Because it's catchy."

Bethany glared for three seconds, before grinning, "LEAVES, LEAVES, SUGAR SOURCE TO THE TREES, SUGAR IS GOING DOWN PHLOEM..."

"No! YOU'VE WRECKED FALLOUT BOY'S song!" Charley shouted.

"No, Mr Standford did."

"THEN I'LL KILL HIM!"

"Then I'll lock you in the bathroom."

"NO! Don't write that!"shrieked Charley.

Bethany laughed, and continued to type. Charley frowned, "IS THIS MORE THAN YOU BARGINED FOR-"

"Can I call this meeting back to order?" Pein added, sighing, "And shut the hell up writers!"

Everyone paused for a few moments, before Ni leant over to him, "We don't know about them yet."

"Oh, sorry."

"Agreed, young sir," Marluxia batted his eyelids at the leader of the Akasuki.

"Ok, so that guy's the girl!"Deidara shouted.

"I am NOT A GIRL!" Marluxia summoned his sythe, with the pink flowers.

"See?"

Larxene narrowed her eyes, "He is not a girl, idiot, and I should know."

"You mean you two have..."

"Yes."

"Really?"

"... Yep."

"Larxene, leave our private life out of this."

Xemnas turned on them, "We have no emotions. These feelings are banned. Now, meeting. Six, get yourself back on your chair. Zero, join him."

"How do you get back up there?" asked Kisame.

""Portal,"" Zexion and Nizoxe said in perfect unison, before opening portals at the exact same moment, Zexion with his left hand and Nizoxe with her right. They stepped through in perfect unison again, and, once on the chair, Zexion turned clockwise and Nizoxe anti-clockwise until they faced forward, and sat themselves down. In perfect timing.

"Creepy," Kakuzu muttered, thinking nobody was around to hear.

Tobi stared at him for a few seconds, "Cool! I can do that too!" Everyone rolls their eyes.

"Creepy!" Tobi shouted in perfect imitation of Kakuzu's voice, just a lot louder.

"How did you do that?"

The masked man pulled a tape recorder from under his coat, "Tobi hears everybody!"

Bethany's door opened, to reveal her little brother, "Hi!" he called.

The two girls looked at him, and the ball in his hand, "Look what I got!" he said.

Bethany picked up her snowglobe, "SNOWGLOBE!" she shouted, overly exited.

"Cool, can I throw that against the wall?"

"NO!" Bethany hugged the snowglobe to her chest.

"Just type,"Charley mumbled, head burried into the desk. She slammed the door in the boy's face.

"So, what do we need to do?" Ni asked.

"I thought you knew."

"Nope," she grinned, "I know nothing! Nizoxe does the thinking."

Nizoxe felt something behind her, ""What the-?"" Zexion and she cried in perfect harmony.

They looked up in sync to see Tobi behind them, "I told you I could do it!"

A green scaly person appeared, "Do WHAT?" he asked, suggestivly.

"Wrong series, Evra," a voice boomed.

The scaly person shrugged, and vanished.

"What was that, kiddo?" XIgbar looked at Ni and Nizoxe.

Ni, Nizoxe and Zexion shrugged in sync.

Tobi pushed Nizoxe, causing her to fall from the chair, "TOBIIIIII!"

She flipped as she fell, landing on her feet, hood falling from her face, ""Shoot."" She and Zexion said in sync.

Her hair was exactly the same shade as Zexion's, and an almost identical style. The only difference was that it fell over her left eye, not her right. Other than that, they were facially identical. And physically, the only difference was the presence of seperate reproductive organs, if you take our meaning...

"You're..."

She looked up, smirking and summoning a keyblade, fading in and out of existence, ""Yes. I am/she is.""

Bethany paused for a moment, "Did we ever find out who was trespassing in my bedroom?"

"Nope, but I'm assuming it was Orochimaru."

"Of course... So that's why we couldn't find him..."

"Be glad you weren't changing. He's done it to me before!"

"CHARLOTTE! STOP!..." Bethany thought for a moment, "BUT WHY WAS HE IN MY ROOM?"

**2 **


	3. Chapter 3

Froggiecool hereby apologises sincerely for any OOCness on the behalf of the Kingdom Hearts characters in this piece of fan-fiction. Hereby, I do also declare that I shalt not make profit from this work, and that the characters in this fiction are not of my creation, with the exception of Nizoxe. I hope that thou shalt all enjoy this piece of humorous literature more than thou shalt enjoy the reading this message. I beg, nay, plead, for your forgiveness in the matter of spoilers occurring throughout the remainder of this tale. Upon these grounds and terms, I do declare this chapter started!

444: YEAH!

A few days later, Bethany skimmed over the reviews from her laptop, and smirked. She quickly typed a reply, and then sent a message to her co-author:

_'Froggiecool_

2 days ago, 5:05am Hi Charley. Just so you know, I've replied to the reviews, and promised that Sasori will have something to say in the next chapter.

'444

Yesterday, 4:39pm Oh he's totally in it. We'd better work on this at lunch ;D

'Froggiecool

Yesterday, 7:49am Tomorrow lunch.'  
That lunch:  
"We have SO gotta get Sasori to say something! I can't believe we missed him! But he never says much anyway... Neither does Itachi. Or "Charley groaned.  
Bethany's eyes lit up, as the rest of their friendship group stared at the two, "I so have an idea."

Nizoxe's face paled, as she looked at Demyx, "Say something."  
Demyx opened his mouth, only to find himself incapable of speech.  
She then turned to the rest of the organisation, "In numerical order, say the words 'hello, I am in Organisation 13.'" She ordered. Xemnas looked unimpressed, but opened his mouth anyway, before shutting it. Frowning, the Superior tried again. His eyes narrowed, as he looked at Xigbar.  
Xigbar opened his mouth, and attempted to laugh, to find himself unable to do so. He sighed in resignation, and looked across at Xaldin.  
Number three opened his mouth, and spoke with ease, "Hello, I am in Organisation 13, and this is a stupid idea." He looked at Vexen.  
Vexen opened his mouth to speak, and only succeeded in making one sound, and noise, "Hum... Intriguing."  
"Hello, I am in Organisation 13," Lexeaus spoke the words fluently, much to many people's surprise.  
'YOU CAN TALK?' Demyx mouthed.  
"He is quite capable of speech," Zexion answered on his behalf. Noting Nizoxe's glare, he added, "Hello, I am in Organisation 13."  
Saïx was next, and only opened his mouth to shut it again.  
Axel attempted to talk, but failed, resulting in him looking at the sky, and scratching the back of his neck. Roxas threw something at his head. Axel frowned at him, as the blond boy giggled silently.  
Demyx just pouted. Luxord tried to speak, failed, and shrugged. Marluxia and Larxene both tried to speak at once, which solely resulted in them making fools of themselves.  
"So, 3, 5, 6 and sort-of 4..." Nizoxe mused. She looked at her partner-in-time.

"We should do something totally awesome for the next bit!" shrieked Charley.  
"Like what...?" Bethany replied.  
"Like... Something awesome!"  
"Meaning..."  
"Something awesomely funny!"  
"Like this?"

"So, Akatsuki. Ready to make some noise! Say 'Heeeey baby' really seductively, if you can." Ni punched the air, before receiving many, many death glares, "Fine. Say 'I am in the Akatsuki', then."  
Hidan opened his mouth, to find no noise would come out. His eyes narrowed, and he looked around for someone to sacrifice. Jashin was, quite evidently, punishing him. For something. He started to throw his arms around insanely, whilst Kakuzu chuckles silently.  
Pein was the next to attempt the feat, finding himself unable to do so. He looked at Konan, who spoke with ease, "I am in the Akatsuki." She then leant over, and whispered something in his ear. With a deadly straight face.  
Kakuzu also found himself unable to speak, but was not disappointed. After all, he had stumbled across a large sum of money hidden in Luxord's throne. And Luxord could do nothing about it.  
Tobi attempted to squeal at something he'd seen, but failed epically.  
Neither Zetsu seemed to be able to form a word, but that may have been something to do with the limbs coming out of his mouth.  
Itachi glared at them for five minutes straight refusing to speak then growled.  
"Fine, I am in akatsuki. I hate you all."  
Ni giggled to herself. "C'mon Itachi-chan, you know speaking isn't that bad."  
Nizoxe looked over her mysteriously appearing glasses, glaring.  
"Where did the glasses come from, Niz?"  
"My name is Nizoxe, and from another existence. We can call on anything from our previous lives." She was silent for a moment, "Well, purples, anyway. And yes, speaking IS that bad."  
Itachi nodded in agreement, then went back to his usual silence, letting others talk instead.  
Zetsu, mouth finally free of decaying limbs started to speak but found his voice was gone. He struggled to make a point but ended up rolling his eyes and standing in the corner.  
Sasori glanced around until everyone turned to look at him.  
"Well?"  
He pouted and turned away until Deidara poked him.  
"There's no use doing that brat I can't feel it."  
"Un hmm yeah."  
"What the hell is wrong with you?"  
"Um... Intriguing," Vexen called down from his throne.  
"You guys are still up there?"  
"Unfortunately," Xaldin groaned. Zexion had returned to his reading, and Lexeaus had disappeared to the gym.  
Kisame looked around wondering why no one asked him to talk yet. Maybe they just automatically assumed that he couldn't. Was this all because of the might guy joke? He was stupid looking, everyone knew that...  
He opened his mouth and shut it again resigning not to bother.  
"So... What are we going to do now?" Ni asked, looking around.

The two girls sat in silence, in another room. Charley had a Jashin necklace around her neck, and Bethany the laptop perched on her knees, chuckling.  
"Be back in a sec – I've gotta use the bathroom!" Charley ran out of the door, "And stop laughing! It's really weirding me out now!"  
Bethany peered around the door, trying to decide which room the bathroom was, before seating herself back on Charley's bed, and typing. Well, looking at the posters on the walls. And the one falling off of it.  
"Oh, so the bathroom's THAT way." she said as Charley re-entered the room.  
"Is it?"  
"Yeah!" Bethany nearly punched the air, but then remembered the laptop.  
Charley climbed onto the bed, attempting to replace the poster. Charley's sister came in, and passed something to her elder sister.  
"I got my magazine. Heee!"Charlotte flopped onto the bed, leaning on one arm, as her sister dropped something in the room.  
"Why were you going to punch the air?"  
"Because we had Chinese last night."  
"Huh?" Charley looked confused, before grabbing her Deidara plushie, "I don't get the joke... I love you Deidara plushie...! I don't look too crazy..."  
Bethany shrugged, and began to laugh manically, "Chinese, Charley. THINK!"  
"I don't get it! You need the bathroom?" (NOTE: She really doesn't get it)  
"All right," Bethany looked at her friend obsessing over her Deidara plushie's hair, "Chinese equals prawn crackers."  
"Ooooh," Charlotte finally clicked, "And prawn crackers equal..."  
"MAYHEM!"

Meanwhile...  
"Who the hell's that?" Naruto shouted, pointing at a trio of people – two girls and a boy. One girl had black hair, and a black coat. One girl was blonde, in a short white dress. The boy had silver hair, and a black outfit. With a broken heart on the front.  
"How I am supposed to know, Naruto you idiot."  
"I dunno..." he turned back to them, "Hey! Girls and guy! Who the hell are you?"  
They turned to Naruto, and the boy stepped in front of the girls, "Keep your hands off of them!"  
"Hey! I wasn't gonna do anything dirty..."  
The boy glared.  
"Reply... Please." The black haired girl said, "I don't feel well..."  
"Xion?" he asked. The blonde girl hid behind 'Xion'.  
"Naime – you ok?" Xion looked at her. The girl nodded.  
"Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki. Believe it!"  
The trio stared at him, "Ok..."  
Naime let out a small shriek, as Xion fell to the floor.  
"Let me see – I can help her," Sakura replied.  
Repliku moved to block her path, "Don't touch her, you moron!"  
"Why not? I can help her, you idiot!"  
"No, you can't." He growled, "Nobody can help her – she's an imperfect replica of somebody who's not supposed to exist. There is nothing anyone can do to help her – or me, for that matter. And Naime over there – she's the Nobody of someone with no darkness. She's impossible – and considering that NORMAL NOBODIES can't exist..."  
"Calm down, I was only trying to help."  
"Well you can't, so but out, and let her rest."  
"Yeah! Leave her alone! She was only trying to help! You can still enjoy life."  
"What, when we're set to be destroyed in a matter of hours."  
"Really? Well, at least you existed, and the world's a better place because of it! I'm sorry we can't help you, but there's no need to be so cruel about it!"  
"No..." Naime blushed, "I destroyed the hero's memories. Repli has killed people, Naruto. Killed them. And Xion has betrayed her creators, and her only friends."  
"Make the most of the time you've got left, then."  
"There is nothing we can do. We are bound to stay in Oblivion. And we have no hearts, so even when we die, nothing can become of us."  
"Even without hearts, you can enjoy yourselves!"  
Xion sat up shakily, and, noting the conversation, shook her head, "Naime... I'm hungry."  
"Wanna go get some ramen?" Naruto shouted.  
"What's ramen?"  
"You'll love it! Follow me!"  
Repliku looked at him, before picking up Xion and piggy-backing her.

And somewhere else again...  
If he had been Riku, Sora would have said he could smell the darkness. Not being Riku, he could only sense it, "Hi! Who are you?"  
The black haired male stared at him, trying to scare him off.  
The brunette remained oblivious to his methods, and grabbed his wrist, "Hey, I'm talking to you! I'm Sora. Who are you?"  
The black haired one pulled away his hand, and pulled out a sword from his waist. Holding it to the other boy's throat, he asked coldly, "Who are you and what am I doing here?"  
Sora grinned, and shrugged, "I'm Sora, remember?"  
"I know that, but I want specifics."  
"Well. I'm Sora, from the Destiny Islands, and, after the Islands were taken by the darkness, I'm looking for my friends. You haven't seen them, have you? There's a red-head girl, about so high, and a silver-haired male, slightly taller, and older, than me."  
"Heh, that sounds just like my team except the other boys got white hair and there's another boy with red hair who's a lot taller."  
He slid his sword back into his belt and frowned.  
"I'm Sasuke Uchiha of the hidden leaf and I want to know exactly where I am."

"Ok WTF this is ridiculous. I think that we should just go home. It's not like this rift is life threatening." Sasori muttered stepping up to the portal that brought them there now at ground level.  
"I agree." Itachi murmured silently and the others followed him out of the kingdom hearts universe leaving a surprised Ni and even more surprised kingdom hearts people. Ni then shrugged, and turned to Nizoxe, "I give them 6."  
"3."  
"3 Whats?"  
"Depends on whether you are referring to the time it takes for them to notice, or for them to come back."  
"Well, I say 6 days full stop."  
"I say 3 hours until the first notice, three days until the rest catch on, and three months until they do something. Pro-active... Wait. They never do anything pro-active."  
"True... How do you know?"  
"We discussed this last time. And anyway, they're not heroes. What do you expect? And anyway, what is a hero? They say that Sora is a hero, but he's not. Heroes help people – they make the world better. If he were a hero, he wouldn't kill people begging for him to stop."  
"When doesn't he?"  
Nizoxe leant over to Ni, and whispered in her ear, "It's not happened yet, but remember Demyx..."  
She looked at him, "Hi Demmy!"  
He frowned at them.  
"Well, Sora kills him."  
"NOOOO!"Ni shouted, "Who-?"  
Nizoxe grabbed her wrist, and pulled her ear back, "Within a year, all of the Organisation will be dead. Roxas is going to sacrifice himself, to give Sora back his memories. Axel will kill himself to save Sora from the heartless. Sora will kill most. However, Axel will kill Zexion and Vexen. Riku will kill Lexeaus. Those three, Marluxia and Larxene will be gone within a week from now. A month and they will be dead. If you want to do this properly, you will ensure that YOUR group will be here before they leave for Oblivion."  
Ni started to cry.

"We can't end it there!" Charley shouted.  
"There are more chapters," Bethany grinned, "Remember..."  
"Oh yeah!"  
"Why hello, Charley and Beth. My two favourite names..."

Bethany turned around about to protest her name was Bethany not Beth and paused staring up and the freakish white face of Orochimaru.  
"Oh crap..." Charley whimpered spotting him also.  
"Um, well Charley I gotta go! My dad's here now... Bye!"  
She raced out the door at top speed leaving a horrified Charley behind.  
"WAIT! YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE ME HERE WITH HIM! HELP!"


	4. Chapter 4

Froggie's note: Well, we're going to have some OOC characters in this chapter. Well, if we don't, I'll be surprised, having never MET these characters on my only game, and relying on Wikipedia...

Charley's quote of the week: What, you guys don't like books?"

As the tired artistic one of the two girls in this fic sat in her room listening to the killers and drinking her apple fruit shoot she shivered, not because it was low sugar but because Orochimaru had shown up a few nights back well okay a week or so. She tried to forget the horror of him suddenly appearing and shivered again when she remembered he was still lurking in her room. Somewhere...

Another girl hit her head on top of her laptop. "STUPID THING!"

"Sissy, you all right?"

"No, now leave me alone."

"Sissy..." the girl smirked evilly, a knife in hand as it crept towards the doorframe.

The elder slammed the door in her sister's face.

"But sister!"

"NO! I am NOT being your VICTIM AGAIN!" Bethany shouted, and then sighed - one last time...

_Story format not recognised._

_Please update your software, or email us the file, and we'll convert it for you._

"I've tried that," the brunette hissed, "You don't have an email, and this is the most recent software - heck, I WROTE it on this software." She thumped her head once more, and started to cry, "And I can't remember what I'd already typed... And everyone hates me and... I mean, they were throwing stones at my head..." She noticed where this was going, "Phone."

-A couple of weeks pass-

Hidan yawned and stretched inadvertedly reaching through a new portal and touching something. He brought his hand back through to find it filled with waffles and quickly stuffed them in his mouth.

"Dammit Hidan, You can't just keep stealing their food. They're eventually gonna get pissed." Kakuzu muttered who had somehow regained the power to speak which no one was questioning.

NO ONE!

Hidan simply grinned and patted his Jashinist necklace then wrote down on paper. 'Let 'em try and take me out. I'll kick their asses.'

"That, I would love to see."

-Somewhere else-

"Mickey!" a mouse in a dress shouted, "I can't find the waffles!"

The King ran down the stairs, and frowned, "Nope; can't see them either."

"That's not exactly looking..."

He noticed a black form hovering above the counter, "Minnie, darling, what's that?"

"I dunno. Nothing happens if you poke it..."

"Do you need some help?'" A female voice asked from behind the pair.

"Oh, hi Erin. You know what this is?"

The female tapped her foot on the ground, winding wavy, chestnut hair around her finger, "'Behold the endless abyss! Within lies the heart of all worlds: Kingdom Hearts! Look as hard as you are able; you'll not find even the smallest glimmer of light. From those dark depths are all hearts born... even yours.'" She raised her hands dramatically, before letting them fall, and scratching the back of her neck, "Okay..."

"Really?" Mickey sounded slightly amused.

"'Okay, you know there are many other worlds out there besides your castle and this town, right?'" Erin asked. She fiddled with the zip on her orange body-warmer.

"Get to the point already."

"'They've been secret because they've never been connected. Until now. When the Heartless came, everything changed.'" Her hand moved to her yellow sleeve.

"You mean that that -" Minnie pointed at the hole, "Is another world?"

"'The door has opened... '"

"So, what is that world like?"

Blue eyes pierced into the hole, "'Kairi? Who's Kairi? I'm the great ninja Yuffie!'"

"Yuffie's world?"

"'Nah, I guess...'"

"So... Ninja world?"

"'You're a brave one!'"

"I'll take that as a yes..."

Erin simply blinked at them, tucking one bare foot behind the other, and fiddling with her jeans.

"Should we be worried?"

"'Nah, I guess...'" she repeated

"Well then, shall we leave it?"

"But they're stealing our food!"

Erin sighed, grabbed a knife from the drawer, and walked out, "'Be a good boy now!'"

"Please tell me she's not doing what I think she's doing..."

"Honey, if she's doing what I think you think she's doing, then everything will be fine."

"What, visiting her 'family'?"

"Well, we'll get the rift sorted."

Mickey sighed, "Remind me again why we took her in?"

"Because you were too busy to check what the papers. You thought the adoption papers were a treaty with Ansem."

"Oh, I remember now..."

Ni looked at Nizoxe, "So... What do we do now?"

"'This is MY Underworld, you idiot!'" somebody shouted.

"Oh, hi Erin."

The brunette appeared in a puff of yellow smoke, grinning wildly. She sighed, scanning the rest of the crowd, "'Don't I even warrant a hello?'"

"Nope," Ni teased.

Erin slapped her, "'I know who you're thinking of!'"

"You're insane."

Erin simply blanked them. Zexion peered up from his book, "Oh look, something is happening. How quaint. Niz?"

Nizoxe rolled her eyes, "Erin, Zex. Zex, Erin."

"My name is Zexion."

"MY name is Nizoxe."

"Hum... Intriguing," Vexen's eyes narrowed at her, leaning forward.

Lexeaus re-appeared, "Oh, they've gone."

"Well done, braniac." Nizoxe hissed

"Who's she?"

"Erin."

"Who's Erin?"

"Her. You'll find out." Ni chipped in.

"Eventually." her other finished.

"Anyway, Erin..." Ni turned to her, "Why are you here?"

Erin pointed at the rift, "'Kairi? Who's Kairi? I'm the great ninja Yuffie!'"

"I'll take it that this is to do with the hole in space?"

Xaldin laughed at Ni's deduction, "Seriously, how'd you get that one?"

"We travelled together a few years back."

"So, how's life?"Ni questioned.

Erin blanked her.

"Well, we need some backup from the others..." She turned her face skywards, "Oh great and powerful writers, whatta we do?"

A few days later... Bethany was yet to even open her laptop, Charley hadn't been at school. After greeting her mum and sister, she grabbed the phone and ran upstairs.

After a few rings, Charlotte's Mum answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, it's Bethany. Is Charlotte around?"

"I'm sorry, she's in bed at the moment - she's not feeling well. I can tell her you rang, when she wakes up."

"Oh... Well, thank you, and I hope she gets better soon."

"Bye, Bethany."

She hung up, and frowned slightly, before sighing, and powering on her laptop... To work.

Nothing happened in the World that Never Was.

"Fail," Ni slapped her own face.

Nizoxe raised an eyebrow, looking at the sky.

"Oh, right..." Bethany thought for a moment, "Need Charley's mind... Err... Oh yeah! She's writing that bit... And she's ill... Which means... Dimension skip! No, wait... Charley's writing that too... Um... Er..."

"Bethany, why are you talking to yourself?" the little sister re-appeared, this time with her little brother in tow. The brother had a gun which fired foam bullets (which really sting, Bethany would like you to know), and a pair of knives in the girl's hands.

"Because it is the only way for me to have an intelligent conversation around here. Now get out." She slammed the door, "Now, where was I... Oh, thinking." she thought for a few more moments, chewing her lip, before quickly continuing her touch-typed chapter. She then deleted it all, "Right, so I can't write Repliku's end, 'cause I don't know what ramen is, and I can't type Sora's end, 'cause Charley's already done that... So... No, I can't do that to them... Oh, what the heck. I need cheering up."

Nizoxe pinched her nose, and glanced at Zexion, "Brother?" she questioned. His eyes snapped to her, glaring.

"What?"

"It seems like we are in trouble..." As she mused the words, a TV with dance mats attached appeared before them. Ni wandered over to it, and pulled off the post-it note.

"'Dear Organisation, Ni, Nizoxe and Erin,'" she read, in a superior voice, "I, the post-it note, am here to inform you that, whilst awaiting the imminent arrival of your partners in this mission, you have been supplied with this equipment for your entertainment. Until every person in this room has completed one tune to a satisfactory standard, the story shall not progress, and you cannot portal from this room. Good luck.'" Ni looked at Nizoxe, "Crap."

"No, Ni, sugar."

"Crap."

"Sugar."

"Crap."

"Sugar."

"Crap."

"Su- oh, for goodness sakes, get this over with already!" Nizoxe shouted, boiling with fury, "We'll do this in order - so I go, then the organisation, then Ni, then Erin. Alright?"

Demyx raised his hand.

"Demyx," her voice was icy. His hand fell.

"Good, we may begin." she smiled darkly. She stepped up to the machine, and switched it on. All members who could groaned - it wasn't even REAL music, rather some synthesised mish-mash of computer sounds, peeping around. It sounded... Synthetic. Neither the less, Nizoxe completed with a perfect score, twirling as it finished. 'Pass' flashed up on the screen.

"Wow," was all Ni could say.

"I had the same machine when I was a somebody. Well, we had two. I and Zi used to play."

Xemnas stepped up to the stage, performing a respectable score. Not that anyone expected him to fail.

Xigbar stepped up next. He rolled his eyes dramatically as he completed the one of the easier game levels.

Xaldin closed his eyes to select his stage, relying on luck. He had the mis-fortune to select one of the more complex routines, "Left, left, left, left, left/right, right, up, down, up/down, apple?" He looked down, to notice fruits in each corner of the mat, missing about half the tune. On retry, however, he succeeded.

Vexen shuddered as he took to the mat, and looked slightly confused by the names. Zexion rolled his eyes, jumped off his chair, landed gracefully, and crouched down on the left hand side of the mat, and hit the left button until he found the easiest song. He then hit the button select button in the middle. He then stepped back, as the machine asked 'Ready? Then press up to continue!'

Vexen made a face which said both 'I would have worked it out eventually, thank you' and 'get back here so I can throttle you without having to run' at the same time. He hit the up key, and began. Despite tripping over his own feet in a most undignified manner, and only scoring 25%, Vexen still managed to pass first time.

"How?" Xaldin asked.

"The power that is wants to get onto at least Zexion this evening," Ni grinned.

"The power that is?"

"God, Jashin, Shiva, Allah, Jehovah, the Dude... What cha wanna call him?" Ni smiled.

Nizoxe stamped on her foot, and whispered in her ear, "The author is a GIRL and does not approve of Jashin being in your list."

Ni whispered back, "I must keep the other author happy..."

By this point, Lexeaus had walked up to them, "There is no way in light, darkness, or that which never was that I'm gonna be able to dance on that thing."

Ni and Nizoxe looked back to it. If he was lucky, Lexeaus might be able to fit the ball of his foot on the mat.

"Well... You gotta try anyway..." Ni mumbled.

Nizoxe frowned, and picked up the discarded post-it note. She flipped it over, and read aloud, "'Thank you, Nizoxe for bothering to check the back,'" she frowned again, and then continued, "'On further consideration by the powers that be, it has been decided that this chapter is too long as it is, and that only Demyx and even numbered Nobodies, with the exception of Vexen, have to dance. Any others may if they wish, but after the required members, and before Erin. Oh, and if he's drunk, DO NOT LET LUXORD DANCE!' Brother dear?"

Lexeaus stepped to one side, and Zexion took to the mat. Smirking he selected the same song as Nizoxe, but failed in the left/right, apple/pear, left/right, up/down, left/right area, resulting in a slightly diminished score of 95%. Zexion glared at Nizoxe.

"Little out of practice, are we?" Nizoxe teased.

"Shut up."

"Is that really all you can think of?"

"Shut up. I'm older than you, and this conversation is proving fruitless."

"Only by five minutes." The conversation halted with Vexen slapping Ni for not checking the back of the note, and Axel appearing for his performance. His entire posture read 'now watch how the pro does it'.

0% the screen read followed by these words: 'EPIC FAIL!'

Axel looked about ready to kill something, but Demyx jumped down, using his sitar to drench the fire-user. Axel gave him a death glare, some-what weakened by the shivering, before re-trying the song, and passing with a respectable 75%.

Demyx pushed him off the mat, and hurriedly selected a song. He even made little hand movements as he danced, earning him a pass. By this point, Axel had warmed up enough to summon his weapon, and chased the nocturne around the stage.

Luxord had one hand over his mouth and was smiling through hiccups.

"Luxord, dear, why don't we sit down?" Ni asked in a strangely disturbing voice, dragging him away. Nizoxe sighed, pinching her nose, as Marluxia appeared. Larxene rolled her eyes.

Marluxia had, somehow, changed himself into his dancing outfit - a tight-fitting skating dress. Yes, dress.

"Is it not ironic how he is the only purely straight member of the Organisation?" Zexion observed, "The rest of us are at least bi."

Nizoxe hummed in agreement, as the male started to dance. His score, like many others, earned him a pass.

"Anyone else wanna go?" Ni asked. Everyone shook their head. "All-righty, then!" She closed her eyes, and selected a random song, which she completed.

Erin stepped up, and hit the 'retry' key. She earnt exactly the same score as Ni, even making the same arm movements. When she stepped off the mat, everyone looked at her, "Now, what to do?" she asked, before her voice dropped a few octaves, "We wait, see what develops."

The group stared at her, as a paper bird flew down, landing on her red bandana.

"TELL MY MOTHER, TELL MY FATHER!" That's right, Charley's back. YEAH!

Charley sat at her computer typing up the workload Bethany had given her and singing VERY loudly along with shine down. (BTW the song is called Second chance...)

She thought for a few minutes and grinned evilly.

"Well, this is thirteen pages already... My turn... Wow we're mean. So much filler, well I' m sure our `fan` (only one lol) will stop stalking Bethany when I've done this... Lol, sorry!"

Her inbox flashed: "Ooh a message from Bethany!"

Froggiecool: He's not stalking me. *pout*

444: It's funny lol

You get the picture... Back to the story! This time I promise!

Sora and Sasuke were skipping down the path in their own little world. They were holding hands and swinging them.

"Sasuke, look!"

He turned his head to his new boyfriend and smiled wide when he saw him pointing at a rabbit, he almost forgot Itachi and Konoha until...

"Sasuke... Is that you?"

Suigetsu, Jugo and Karin stood there staring at them. Suigetsu was half laughing half freaked out, Jugo wasn't that affected but still weirded out, Karin just freaked out screaming his name.

"SASUKE, NO! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!"

"..."

"..."

"Uh, hi!" Sora smiled bashfully scratching his head. "I'm Sora."

"KILL HIM!"

"Shut the hell up Karin." Suigetsu smirked. "Sasuke I didn't know you swung that way."

"Shut up."

Jugo coughed and they broke out of their trance.

"It doesn't matter now; we have to figure out what's going on." Sasuke muttered.

"Where are we?" Jugo asked looking around.

Everyone was ignoring Karin who was foaming at the mouth and threatening death on Sora who was hiding behind Sasuke and shouting back too.

"Must... Kill..."

Jugo set off and Sasuke groaned. "Why, me...? Karin, stop it!"

Karin automatically shut up.

"Jugo, stop."

Jugo's killing impulse quietened and he stopped.

"Suigetsu shut the hell up."

"I didn't say anything!"

"I said..." His face loomed closer. "Shut up."

He automatically shut up.

"Now, we are going to find some more people and figure this out. Can you do that without killing each other?"

Mumbled replies of yeah and whatever sounded.

"I said CAN YOU DO THAT?"

"YES, SIR!" They all chorused and he groaned again.

"This is gonna be a long trip I can tell."

"HIDAN! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT FOOD STEALING!" Konan yelled.

_Not to do it?_ He scrawled one handed on a pad of paper.

"And what are you doing right now?"

He turned back to what he was doing: Sticking his hand through a portal and pulling through some candy.

_Uh... Jashin told me to do it?_

"... What the hell..."

_Joking! But Kuzu's doing it too!_

"Really?" She answered sarcastically. "I'm so sure... Maybe I'll..."

She turned round to see Kakuzu freeze with a bag over his shoulder.

"Kakuzu, what is that?"

"I didn't do it!"

"I'm so sure."

She sighed made a paper bird letting it fly away.

"I sure hope when Pein gets his voice back he yells at you two for being stupid."

_Whatever._

"You wouldn't say that if you saw how much money we saved."

"... Alright, you win for now."

Naruto, Sakura and the new found Sai sat at the Ramen bar with Xion, Repliku, and Naime.

Xion looked pale and was being fussed over while Naruto grinned and made friendly conversation while stuffing his face with Ramen. Repliku automatically hated Sai who seemed to have no emotion.

"So you picked up random strangers? They could be spies."

"Shut up Sai."

Xion picked up her spoon and ate then looked at Naruto. "This is really good."

"I know!" Naruto cheered.

Sakura rolled her eyes and Sai smiled.

My book on how to make friends says to make up nicknames, Sai thought, maybe he should be nice to them...

"So what are your names?"

"I'm Repliku." Repliku growled not liking Sai at all.

"Sai, just take it easy! Eat some Ramen!"

"Ok."

It was a pretty normal day, the sun was shining and the birds were singing... and there was a black portal forming right in front of their eyes?

"What the..."

"Let's see where it goes!"

Raizo stood alone in the clearing

"`Soon, very soon... All our goals shall be achieved..."

Chills...

Raizo smiled and turned to find Haku and Zabuza. "`What's going on? `"

Haku sighed. "Master Zabuza, we've been following this kid for ages!"

"I know, but he knew everything I said before."

"Okay..."

The Akatsuki were all standing around as they normally did, looking cool until...

"Holy shit! The base is vanishing!"

"Hn."

"Hey where'd our stuff go?"

"So... We meet again."

The tired author stopped grinning at her genius (sure...) and sighed. Well, if they liked this they'll love the sequel... (Lol, just wait and see! Though Bethany probably will be mad at me for telling you that...

"Well, that was exhausting."

"_I know something a lot more exhausting we could do..."_

Charley looked annoyed. "Hey, who stole MY innuendo jokes?"

She turned round to be met by the face of Orochimaru.

"Oh crap..."

(The author would like to point out no Sasukes were harmed in the writing of this fanfic and as far as I know no Suigetsus either... But Orochimaru will be when I'm done with him... And no not in that way...)

BTW: Raizo and Erin are OCs... Erin can only say Kingdom hearts quotes and Raizo only Naruto! They will become something else soon though... TOP SECRET STUFF!

Oh yeah! BTW Charley is the Naruto expert and Bethany is the Kingdom Hearts expert. So, yeah... Now you know. Enjoy readers! Mwa ha ha ha! Sorry it's so long. I'll shut up now. Probably... Sorry!


	5. Chapter 5

Froggie's Note: Hi there. Severe Larxene-bashing, not-so-suggestive terms and other strange happenings. Not to mention that this is a crack fic, so... Enjoy! (And yes, my little brother does do what the story says he does).  
Oh, and by the way, I don't own Kingdom Hearts, but I do own Nizoxe, Bethany and Erin. I also own Re: Connect, as of today, and 365/2 days. I doubt that Charley owns Naruto, but you never know... Yeah right. She owns a cosplay set and LOADS of manga books, plus DVDs, plus poster, plus her artwork (which is awesome!). She also owns Ni (sort of), Raizo and Charley.

Charley: Did someone say my name? Anyway I'm not responsible for any craziness, okay I am... :D  
Please enjoy this and don't ask for a refund as it will not be given! No kidding, she's too cheap for that, shut up alternate personality! Anyway again, please don't sue because I don't got no money. Except a fiver. As Bethany said I don't own Naruto even if my other personality thinks she does: btw I'm the sarcastic one she's the crack, hyper, sugary, rainbow one.  
Well, Enjoy!

Chapter 5 – the Nightmare Begins

"You put a title on this chapter?" a slightly curious Charley asked, between bites of a sandwich.  
Bethany nodded, passing mini-chocolate fingers around the group of five friends, "And now we need to plan... You, me, me, you, me - no, you me - then me, then you."  
They scribbled in their notebooks – Bethany's pink and Charlotte's black.  
"But how are we gonna make the worlds' laziest villains get on with work?"  
"Click your fingers," Bethany grinned, as they headed for the school library.  
Charley flicked her hand multiple times, before sighing, "You do it."  
Bethany pulled her face into a sly grin, and raised her ready-to-click fingers. In her very best Axel impression (surprisingly creepy) she recited, "We are just Nobodies with nobody to be, but yet we still are. But now you can be nothing instead of just a Nobody – you're off the hook." Then, as she clicked the fingers, "Goodbye."  
"Great – but what does it do?"  
Bethany laughed as the bell went, "Tell you sometime!" and ran to Chemistry.

Pain's face was grim as he turned around to be met by the smirking faces of Nizoxe and Ni.  
"You."  
"Yes?"  
"What did you do to our base?"  
"Well..."  
"You see..."  
Pein waved his hand in a dismissal. "No matter, did you think that was our only base?"  
Their grins widened a bit and he frowned after sending out Deidara to scout out the other bases they discovered they had inexplicably vanished.  
Hidan made a rude gesture and Kakuzu was pissed and grabbed Ni's shirt.  
"What the hell did you do with my money?"  
"Calm down, all will be explained."  
"When?"  
"Well... The great voices in the sky think you should come with us."  
"... I hate you."

Bethany itched her nose, then rubbed her eyes sleepily, "20:54, and I've been up since half five. I hope you're happy," she mumbled, sitting at her grandparent's computer. Internet even worse than her own, curtains open and in a pair of red, cotton pyjamas, "I must be mad..." Travelling across half the country, at hours known only to one teenager (and certainly not Charley), before single handily navigating the maze that is Leeds, calming crying babies and entertaining long-forgotten relatives; she had finally achieved her quest – a sibling less place in which to revise for her 23 hours and 20 minutes of exams and, more importantly to the plot, a sibling less place with a computer that did not crash when you opened more than two windows, did not delete save files at random intervals and did have a wheelie swivel chair!

Ni laughed, "Well, guess you're staying here, guys!"  
Erin nodded slowly, as Nizoxe spoke, "Ni, Erin and I will take Thirteen's room."  
"Why?" Roxas' voice was not trusting.  
"Because we trust you not to have left poison or bombs in it. Or other nasties," Ni smiled kindly.  
Xemnas could always tell a losing battle. This was not to defend his precious goal, and so gave in, "I need a hat and some paper."  
Saïx immediately appeared at his side with the desired utensils.  
"Thank-you. Nobody shall speak until naming is done," Xemnas muttered, scribbling everybody's name on a sheet of paper, before throwing them into the hat. It was a very nice, black bowler hat. He then drew names.  
"Sasori, you shall be sharing with Vexen; Zexion, you are with Itachi; Roxas share Axel's room; Pein, with me; Zetsu and Lexeaus; Kakuzu and Xigbar; Demyx and... Oh dear – Tobi; Konan and Saïx; Hidan and Marluxia; Deidara and Larxene; Kisame, Xaldin. Each will be in the number's room. Un-named means you're by yourself. Questions?"  
"Can we-? "  
"No. Now, everybody go and play with your room-buddies," Ni seemed extra-ordinarily happy. When the subject was breeched, she simply replied, "Oh, it's just my other-self shining through. Sadistic, and all that."  
"'Excuse me, 'Oh Superior of the in-Between', but I am not happy that my fiancée is sharing rooms with another man," Pein shouted to Xemnas, "It's not like there aren't other women."  
Luxord laughed dryly, "She's safer with Saïx than Larxene."  
Pein glared at him.  
"No, seriously," Axel expanded, "She WILL rape whoever is in her room."  
Deidara fainted, but nobody (Nobodies included under this term) seemed to notice.  
"I thought she was straight... And with Marluxia." Kakuzu questioned.  
Marluxia raised his eyebrows, and looked at Larxene, "Darling, please excuse this."  
The woman's eyes narrowed, but she did not respond verbally.  
"My girlfriend is not straight or homosexual. I doubt that bi even quiet covers what she is," Marluxia smiled.  
"What?"  
"He means that she rapes everything on legs. And on a bad day isn't even that specific. Meaning she will include snakes and worms. As for the actual doing... Let's just say that she castrated men on the black market for a while, and kept the remains," even Axel shuddered as he spoke.  
Larxene looked fairly proud, "And what's wrong with that?"  
Many eyebrows were raised at this, as Tobi's eye lit up, "Deidara-senpai? What's rape?"  
Tobi received no response from the still unconscious blonde.  
Kakuzu removed Hidan's voice box, before he had a chance to answer the question (he'll put it back at the end of the chapter).  
Demyx chirped in, "Yes – what IS rape?"  
"Demyx," Zexion muttered, "Look it up in your own time."  
"But that's boring..."  
"Then you'll never find out."  
_Everybody suddenly noticed that Deidara was unconscious, all at the same moment. After a few high pitched comments from Demyx and Tobi, Xemnas spoke again.__  
__"Everybody, to your rooms. And Luxord - carry the unconscious one to Larxene's room."__  
__"Is it safe to leave them together, if she's that bad?"__  
__"If she rapes him, he can swap rooms."__  
__The Akatsuki scattered._

"NOOOO! My Dei-Dei muffin! Don't rape him! Only Sasori, Hidan, Itachi and sometimes Kakuzu can do that!"  
She paused for a minute and thought about it wondering if there were anymore crack pairings then ran for so she could read some KakuHida (drool).  
"Oh well," She murmured over her hand which was keeping back her nosebleed, "Time for some Sora x Sasuke action. It'll try to keep it clean I swear Bethany."  
She giggled suddenly. "I love it how we're the only people who stalk our fans."  
The phone rang suddenly and she picked it up. "Hey?"  
"We don't stalk them, we just converse with them!"  
"How did you hear that?"  
"I'm psychic."  
"Cool I'm psychotic, oh by the way sorry for scaring away our fans with my Jashin yelling and attempted conversions."  
"No worries."  
She hung up prematurely and sweat dropped at the accident.  
"Oh well back to business, I really have to stop ending these segments with a reminder to write the rest but I suppose I'd forget otherwise..."

Sasuke was rubbing his forehead trying to escape the constant headache of dealing with his team and his over the top boyfriend from another universe.  
They had been walking for a while until they found a waterfall.  
"Yay!" Suigetsu leapt in shedding a few clothes and doing a very impressive dive.  
Karin grumble when she was soaked and suddenly realised this was a great chance to try and sway Sasuke back. She batted her eyelashes.  
"Sasuke do you wanna see my bathing outfit?"  
"No."  
She gasped and pretended to be offended but Sasuke didn't care either way.  
He was too busy being distracted by Sora in his boxers going swimming.  
Drool...

Indeed, drool. Charley thought as she typed up the story and rolled her eyes when she realised she was speaking in the third person and sighed at the fact her sister had broken the D button on her computer so now it was just a stub which was undoing and she didn't even want to think about whether it would fall off. She shrugged and went back to watching who wants to be a millionaire.

Zexion sat on his bed, enjoying the peace and quiet, with a very large book. He was pleased to discover that his room-mate was quiet, and had even been as thoughtful as to 'borrow' a bed for him – which was one up on most rooms. After all, Zexion was one of the few virgins in the Organisation (the others being Demyx, Roxas and Luxord), and underage (due to his somebody being 6 at death, and the lack of aging).  
Itachi was contemplating the meaning of life, when he noticed something peculiar – all of the clothes in Zexion's room, minus the cloaks themselves, were far too small for the Nobody. He was confused until he sensed an illusion. Silently, he activated his Sharingan, and looked at Zexion... quickly, he de-activated the eye power, when he sat a six year old on the bed, with a copy of 'Green Eggs and Ham'*2, and a teddy bear, rather than a textbook. Well, that explained the clothes... Quickly, he returned to his contemplation, and stored the information for later.  
The two sat in silence for many minutes, until there was a giant booming noise from next door. Itachi looked up.  
"It's probably just Vexen – he's our resident mad scientist." Zexion didn't even glance up.  
Tobi ran through the door, "Guys! Guys! Come quick! Sasori's room's on fire!"  
The Nobody and the Uchiha looked at him, before calmly exiting the room. After all, they were next door. Zexion left with his book in hand – the only one not in the library. It was also the only book that was not what it appeared – the rest truly were long, complicated textbooks, which the Nobody understood.  
They left the room to see that the fire had been doused by the water-wielders, and that Sasori and Vexen were nowhere to be seen... Axel appeared from the wreckage with clay in one hand.  
"Deidara."  
Muted screams were heard from the direction of Larxene's room.

"That's it I can't take this anymore! Larxene how dare you!" She sighed knowing she probably wouldn't bother.

Deidara was sitting on a chair behind a table being interrogated.  
"Well, Deidara why did you do it?"  
"I didn't, un!"  
"Were you jealous of Sasori's art?"  
"I didn't do it!"  
"Sempai, Tobi is finished with your clay!"  
Deidara took it from him glaring then froze followed by several screams of TOBI!  
The mystery of who killed Sasori and Vexen was solved but no one was particularly happy with the result.

Bethany tapped on the black keyboard of her Nan's computer, and wiggled her nose, before rubbing it. She looked at the clock, and then continued with her chapter. After all, peace and quiet only lasts for so long. Thinking for a few seconds, she used her keyboard to make sure that Sai couldn't speak for the next page. After all, he was a little too far into the manga for her. (Bethany has only read one volume – the one where Sasuke kills Itachi, and gets told the 'truth'. It's so sad... *cries at memory*)

Naruto was the first out of the portal. He looked around, orange outfit in stark contrast to the grey walls. Sai was the last out, and the portal closed behind him.  
"Where are we?" Sakura asked.  
Naime looked around, and shrugged, as did Xion, "It's familiar but-"  
"Welcome to Castle Oblivion. This is the lowest floor of the basement." Repliku muttered, "It is also where the three of us were created and, for a while, existed."  
"You mean lived." Naruto butted in.  
"No, existed."  
"But it was your home! You live in a home!"  
"We are Nobodies and replicas. We are not truly alive, and so we do not live in a place, we exist in it."  
"But you are alive! If you weren't alive, then you wouldn't be talking to me!"  
Xion sighed, "Well, we aren't born for another few days, and so we really don't exist yet. Well-"  
"I exist properly," Naime replied, "Well, Kairi's been Heartlessified already."  
"Heartlessified?"  
"Turned into a Heartless."  
"So – what shall we do? Any ramen shops?" Naruto grinned.  
"No. There is nothing here. Quite literally..." Naime muttered.  
Xion shrugged, "Twilight Town? They have wonderful ice-cream."  
"And you might run into your boyfriend." Naime teased.  
Xion pulled a face, "Ew! I'm Roxas' clone! And Axel's... Not the sort of Nobody I'd WANT for a lover. Not to mention I'm underage."  
"How old are you?"  
"259 days."  
"Ah." *1  
Xion formed the dark corridor, and stepped through. The others followed close behind.

Raizo was still standing in the clearing with Haku and Zabuza (squee!) who were attempting to get information out of him although all he could do was quote from Naruto like Erin who could only quote from Kingdom Hearts providing a living hell for the writers especially those who are writing about characters in a manga.  
"So who are you?"  
"`You know nothing about me...`"  
"Yes that's why we're asking..."  
"`I don't know exactly..."  
"You don't know? Oh great..."  
"`Let's grab a drink, you and me, just the two of us. It's been too long. I'll tell you everything there."  
"Alright then let's go."  
He walked through a portal and they followed cautiously through the spiralling black hole.

Bethany leant back in her chair, and emailed her completed first-draft to Charlotte. Just as she was closing down, she heard something behind her, and sighed, "I'm sorry, Oochimari or whatever your name is, but you're going to have to try harder."  
"Being stubborn, today, Bethany? Oh, how I'd love to hear you scream."  
She swivelled the chair around to face the freakishly pale male, "For starters, I have my pyjamas on. That counts as clothes. Secondly, I'm not sleeping or washing. Thirdly, you know how girls have monthly cycles? Well, I'm not on a particularly screamy part at the moment."  
"I could easily undress you."  
"Please? You didn't manage last time. And anyway, I'd rather you see me naked than the last person to do so."  
He was slightly taken aback by this.  
"Look. You're not related to me. Sure, I don't know you very well, but this stalking and watching is not nearly as creepy as my brother. He waits until I have stopped running the bath water, or turned the shower on depending on how I'm washing, then knocks on the door, asking for his toothbrush that he puts in the room only three minutes before I enter. When you pass it to him, he pushes open the door fully, and doesn't look away. He also walks in on me undressed, and sometimes picks the locks on the bathroom door. You are going to need to find a better way to scare me."  
The snake-man frowned slightly, "Well, you'll scream before I leave..." he reached for her. Sighing, the teenager stood up and walked out of the room, slamming the white door in his face, "Grandee! Some creep's stalking me!"  
Knowing that her grandfather was an ex-soldier, Orochimaru smiled darkly, whispering the words, "I'll be back." And faded into non-existence.  
What he didn't know about her grandparents was that both are stone deaf.

Charley's footnote ("footnote, what it has got to do with feet I have no idea?"):  
(A camera flickers on with Charley lying under her sister's bed.)  
"He found me! I don't know how he got back to my house but he's back and he brought Kabuto with him!"  
"Charley... Where are you? You can't hide forever!"  
"Uh oh, I think even Jashin can't save me now!"  
(The covers are lifting and a grinning Orochimaru waves.)  
"I think you'd better come out now..."  
"Fine, but I will defeat you!"  
"How?"  
"Through the power of music."  
(Orochimaru begins laughing.)  
"That won't save you!"  
"Oh yeah?"  
(Charley takes a deep breath and starts singing.)  
"YEAH, I WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG!"  
"Oh crap."  
"CAUSE I HAVE DONE IT BEFORE AND I CAN DO IT SOME MORE IT'S TOO LATE IT'S TOO SOON OR IS IT TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK, TICK BOOM!"  
(Orochimaru is injured by an explosion and falls back wounded.)  
"Alright you win this time but I'll be back, mwa ha ha ha!"  
"Sure... Kabuto's here go rape him instead."  
"Hmm..."  
"No wait let me! NO!"

*1 the author made up this number – she is on day 258, so it doesn't seem unreasonable for her to have run away by this age...

*2 Read a story recently where Zexion's method out of trouble was to form an illusion of 'innocent me with green eggs and ham'. Upon thinking, I decided that it could be the real form of the Lexicon. Can't remember the title, sorry.


	6. Chapter 6

**Froggie's note: virtual cookie to whoever can find the typo in my last note. And yes, if you take Kabuto out of the equation, all of the real-world stuff with me in actually happened. Typing song lyrics whilst listening to the song is hard, but I finished before the singers!**

**C.B's note: KABUTO! WHERE'S MY COOKIES! Grr... No one likes my singing, sob...  
Dude! It's the next chapter!**

**Froggie's disclaimer: I own a pencil! Yay! And a notebook, but not Kingdom Hearts. And, if I owned Naruto, all you Naruto fans'd be screwed!**

**444's disclaimer: what she said, but backwards.**

Charley and Bethany stood outside a shop selling hideously smelly soaps, which gave them both headaches. For some reason, their other three friends (Emily, James and Beth) LIKED the stuff, hence the standing outside of a shop. The price you pay for mis-reading the bus timetables - there wasn't another to rescue them for 45 minutes. And counting. The film had been really, really good. The only good shopping parts were the shop that sold manga, and HMV.  
"So, was thinking. Make us on Sims - me, you, Beth and Emily'll be in a band, and James can have a real job. I'll play piano because I play piano. Guitar, bass or drums?"  
"Guitar!" Charley shouted.  
"What about the others... I know, Beth's drums. 'Cause they match the outfit I want to dress her in."  
The two fell into a rare silence for a number of minutes, occasionally hearing a comment about the soap. Charley looked curiously down the hall of the shopping centre, "How do you think we'd get up that elevator?"  
"We could play rock music!"  
Charley looked at her counterpart, "Yeah... That doesn't really answer my question... We get to the elevator by playing rock music?"  
"Elevator?... Oh, the lift... What lift are we talking about?" Bethany was genuinely confused.  
"That one," Charley pointed.  
"I can't see a lift..."  
"How can you miss it?" Charley looked at her, "Oh, right - no glasses." It was exactly the same reason as to why they'd had to take seats in the middle of the cinema, not the back. And it was still blurry for the girl.  
"Um-hum. But I imagine you use a door."  
"So we go through the door, up the elevator, then play rock music?"  
"NO!" Bethany laughed, "On Sims. You're the lead guitar, remember?"  
"Oh, right!"  
Bethany thought for a moment, before grabbing her notepad - "What did you say?"  
Charlotte looked confused, before noticing the ready-prepared pad, and she recited the conversation, before adding, "For our crack-fic?"  
Bethany grinned, "Yep!"  
Charley turned around, "Oh, do we have to add a talking chicken to that problem now?"  
"What?"  
"Look."  
On the door of the shop was a poster with the words 'What came first - the donkey or the egg?' on it, and a picture of a donkey, egg and chicken racing. He chicken was coming last, and was saying, 'What about me?'  
Bethany turned to Charlotte, "They done yet?"  
Charley shrugged.  
Bethany stuck her head around the door, "Guys! We'll be in Starbucks! I want caramel shortbread." she turned to Charley and whispered, "We really need to get plotting." 

Nizoxe groaned, as did Ni, "Not again..." the ninja of the two muttered.  
"What?" Xemnas immediately snapped.  
Nizoxe grimaced, as she pointed into the centre of the room. A tape player was ready to be played. Hesitantly, Ni turned it on...  
_'Good evening, misunderstood-and-debatably-evil-people. Now, you will not be pleased to know that the powers that be have come up with something creative for you to pass the time with, hopefully helping you to fix up this rift. Or at least come up with an idea - mysterious, or not so mysterious, deaths are part of the rift, they'll have you know. For good measure, all of you who are alive must perform one song each. Actually... Yeah, that works. Duets or trios are allowed, and count. Any more, any you divide the number of performers by 3, and that is the number of songs to sing. Rounded up. Have a good day, now.'  
_The tape blew itself up, something which pleased Deidara greatly, and morphed into a mic.  
"Oh dear."  
Demyx squealed in delight, "Karaoke contest!"  
"Not contest - just a game."

"Lol, I just lost the game."  
"You're so mean."  
"I know... Wait, am I talking to myself again? Oh, crap."  
Charley gazed down at her new Pokémon game (heart gold) and sighed.  
"I wish I knew how to play this, guess I'll cheat on the internet."  
BTW: You cannot catch Pikachu in that forest in Johto as many have said damnit! :(  
Charley giggled for five minutes straight without stopping then lay back on the bed gasping for breath quickly sitting up when she remembered Orochimaru was still here.  
"Well, I hope someone else shows up this chapter... Wink, wink... Why did I write this bit after the rest? Oh well I hope the new character gets here soon or I'm bored as hell..."

Raizo was still leading Haku and Zabuza through the trees who seemed to be rather annoyed and were about to speak when Raizo began singing:  
EVERYBODY STAND UP!  
Agero kyou ichiban no jikan da  
me ni mo tomoranu SPEED HUNTER  
dare mo ga minna toriko kanban YEAH (COME ON)

EVERYBODY HANDS UP!  
Matashita na HERO'S wa COME BACK  
zujou kaze yubioru COUNT DOWN  
ikuze 3-2-1 MAKE SOME NOISE!  
"Oh, hell yes."

Bethany's little brother sat on the bed, playing Pokemon Black at a very high volume. Thinking hard, she tried to think of some filler.  
"I can nearly do the super battle train," he told the dis-interested elder sister, on the last day of her Easter break.  
She grinned, and set about typing the next section, as her brother laughed.

Sora blinked, "Wasn't there a crazy read-head here a minute ago?"  
Sasuke looked around, "Who cares about them?" he ran slow-mo towards his lover.  
Itachi appeared in cloud-land, took one look to either side and silently dived forward.  
Kisame appeared behind him, "CRAP!" he shouted, as two teenagers, high on hormones, hugged him.  
"Sasuke. I didn't know you were slimy." Sora muttered.  
"WHAT THE HELL?" Kisame shouted, "SAVE ME, ITACHI!"  
Itachi stepped forward.  
"NOW!"  
Itachi pulled the pair off of his partner.  
Kisame calmed down, "Hey, isn't that your brother?"  
"Sasuke. What are you doing here?"  
"YOU!" Sasuke screamed.  
"Fighting is not the answer!" Sora shouted, "Please, Sasuke!"  
Sasuke growled, "But-"  
"If he's your brother, then surely you should be able to forgive him. He doesn't look evil. I'm Sora, Sasuke's new boyfriend. Sorry if he annoyed you." Sora smiled.  
Itachi glared at him, "Whom my brother is dating is none of my concern. And I am sure that you're from the same world as the Organisation."  
"WHERE!" Sora shouted, "Nobodies must be destroyed!"  
Sasuke hugged him from behind, "Fighting is not the answer."  
"It appears that now, it is," Kisame walked off.  
Sora hugged Sasuke back, "Ok! Now let's go find your teammates."  
"Why?"  
"Because they're your teammates. And friends stick together!"  
Itachi smiled, and walked off. Sasuke grabbed Sora's hand, and whispered, "Let's follow him!"  
Sora blinked, "Okay," and skipped after him.

"KISAME IS NOT SLIMY!" Charley shrieked squeezing her Deidara plushie for no apparent reason except loneliness.  
"And you'd know that how?"  
"Uh... GO AWAY OTHER ME, I'M BUSY! Actually I haven't seen you since Yu-Gi-Oh!"  
"Forgot me, didn't ya?"  
"...Yeah... Sorry."  
"Well, I've been making out with Bakura."

Charley froze for exactly 5 seconds then began screaming.  
"!"  
In the distance a dog started howling sorrowfully and two kittens began to meow.  
"Relax, I was joking."  
Charley collapsed to the floor unable to argue with herself anymore and sobbed.  
"No..."  
She decided to go check on Yu-Gi-Oh! Universe before overreacting because she often did and was relieved to find Ryou untouched... She spent a further 4 hours there. But you don't get to see what she did there... Hey, it's a fanfic, I'm allowed smut. Lol.

Deidara stood on stage glaring into the crowd.  
"Why, un?"  
"Just get it over with, please?"  
"Screw this, un, I could be making art right now."  
"Hurry up brat." Sasori growled.  
All of the akatsuki seemed annoyed to be forced to do this. Meh, they'll live... Or will they? (Ooh!)  
Deidara sighed loudly and began to sing:  
_**Yeah,  
I was right all along,  
Yeah,  
You come tagging along,  
Exhibit A,  
On a tray,  
What you say,  
Ends up thrown in your face,  
Exhibit B,  
What you see,  
Well that's me,  
I'll put you back in your place  
Yeah I've done it before,  
And I can do it some more,  
So what you waiting for?  
Yeah!  
I was right all along!  
You know I've done it before,  
And I can do it some more,  
I've got my eye on the score,  
I'm gonna cut through the floor,  
It's too late,  
It's too soon,  
Or is it...  
Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick...Boom!**_**  
**At the end of the song there was a short silence, and then Deidara threw down the microphone and stormed off stage.  
"Let's see you do better!"  
Itachi was next and he seemed rather bewildered. Kisame called out: "You've gotta sing, Itachi!"  
Itachi frowned starting to tell him he knew that but the song had started so he started to sing instead.  
_**Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Make beauty stay if I  
take my life?  
Whoa-oh-ohh  
with just a look they shook  
and heavens bowed before him.  
Simply a look can break your heart.  
The stars that pierce the sky;  
He left them all behind.  
We're left to wonder why  
He left us all behind.  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Hey Miss Murder can I?  
Make beauty stay if I  
take my life?  
Whoa-oh-ohh  
(ohh)  
**_Itachi sat back down ignoring the shock of everyone at how awesome he was.  
Deidara growled and Hidan was shoved up next by Kakuzu.  
"Uhh..."  
"Sing you idiot."  
He groaned and grabbed the mic.  
_**Once upon a time  
Not so long ago  
Tommy used to work on the docks  
Union's been on strike  
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough  
Gina works the diner all day  
Working for her man, she brings home her pay  
For love - for love  
She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got  
'Cause it doesn't make a difference  
If we make it or not  
We've got each other and that's a lot  
For love - we'll give it a shot  
We're half way there  
Livin' on a prayer  
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear  
Livin' on a prayer  
**_There was loud applause from nowhere and it quickly died down and Hidan shrugged and walked off. It was Sasori's turn next:  
_**Gonna get this party started  
It's all around me,  
And I can't wish this away,  
You so amaze me,  
You took my monster away,  
It's all around me,  
And I can't wish this away,  
You so amaze me,  
You took my monster away  
and away, and away, and away  
Wake me, c'mon and wake me up now I  
Want to cut off my strings and break,  
Loose of your control of me,  
Cut your strings and be free with me,  
Wake, and wake me up now I want  
To cut off my strings and break, loose  
Of your control of me, cut your strings  
And be free with me  
Everybody, shake your body,  
Lift your hands, stop frontin',  
You're just a puppet,  
To all the marionettes  
**_Kisame was propelled up onto the stage by Ni who winked and he sighed knowing she just wanted him to sing the inevitable(I'm Blue).  
Well he wasn't going to.  
_**Gotta get that [x3]  
Gotta get that that that, that that  
Boom boom boom (Gotta get that) [x4]  
Boom boom boom (Yeah) [x2]  
Boom boom boom [x2]  
Yo  
I got the hit that beat the block  
You can get that bass overload  
I got the that rock and roll  
That future flow**_****

_**That digital spit  
Next level visual shit  
I got that (Boom boom boom)  
How the beat bang (Boom boom boom)**__  
_Ni rushed on stage to join in.  
_**I like that boom boom pow  
Them chicken jackin' my style  
They try copy my swagger  
I'm on that next shit now  
I'm so 3008  
You so 2000 and late  
I got that boom boom boom  
That future boom boom boom  
Let me get it now  
Boom boom boom (Gotta get that) [x4]  
Boom boom boom (Yeah) [x2]  
Boom boom boom [x2] **__**  
**_There was an explosion at the end and a cheerful Deidara grinned at them obviously the culprit.  
"Awesome, un."  
Kakuzu sighed when he was shoved on by an oddly happy Hidan.  
_**The road I walk is paved in gold  
to glorify my platinum soul.  
I'll buy my way to talk to God  
so he can live with what I'm not.  
The selfish blood runs through my veins,  
I gave up everything for fame.  
I am the lie that you adore.  
I feed the rich and f*** the poor.  
I got it, you want it, it just, don't stop.  
I got it, you want it, it just, don't stop.  
This is entertainment. Lies are entertainment.  
You are down on your knees begging me for more.  
The road I walk is paved in gold  
to glorify my platinum soul.  
I am the closest thing to God,  
so worship me and never stop.  
The wretched blood runs through my veins,  
I gave up everything for fame.  
I am the lie that you adore.  
You feed the rich, f*** the poor.  
I got it, you want it, it just, don't stop.  
I got it, you want it, it just, don't stop.  
This is entertainment. Lies are entertainment.  
You are down on your knees begging me for more.**__  
_Kakuzu sighed and put down the microphone leaving several overly happy looking akatsuki members in his wake.

Charley cheered after hearing Kakuzu's song and switched on her CD player neglecting the fact it was 4 in the morning... woops... Damn it all, level up Eevee! I want an Espeon!

"Okay so that leaves Zetsu, Tobi, Pain and Konan..." Ni said with a smile.  
Pain glared at her when she forced him up next and sighed when he saw her song choice of Pain by Three Days Grace. "How creative."  
_Pain, without love  
Pain, I can't get enough  
Pain, I like it rough  
'Cause I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all  
_He tossed the microphone down and proceeded to sulk in the corner.  
Konan sang poker face but only til the chorus then dropped out.  
Zetsu sang Mean and Green from the pet shop of horrors but his two sides kept arguing over who got which part.  
Tobi took the stage and everyone watched for about a minute until Tobi declared he didn't know what to do.  
"Well that was amusing..."  
Maybe Kingdom Hearts will do better, hell they're great ninjas but no one mentioned singing into the equation...

Tuesday morning. Bethany frowned, and looked at the clock on her laptop. 09:59. She hated Tuesdays with a passion, even more than some people hated Mondays. Everything bad always happened on a Tuesday... As the clock switched to 10:00, she opened up a save file under the name of 'purple hoodie gang - computer stop deleting my hard work!', so named as the file had been deleted or moved at least once every chapter so far this most epic of crack fics.  
"Now... What was I doing again?"  
"Sissy - you're talking to yourself again."  
"It's for dramatic effect. Now leave."  
"But I'm not in your room..."  
"But you will be - I do NOT want you to bite my behind again!" (Yes, the 10 year old sister had bitten the fifteen year old's bottom that morning).  
"You're no fun," the youngest sibling sulked, "I'll go find Peter..."  
Bethany pitied her brother sometimes. Now was one of them.

The Nobodies and Erin were all dressed in some of Marluxia's skating dresses. Why? We'll never know. But they were.  
"Do I really have to wear this?" Demyx whined.  
"Yes," the blunt reply.  
Erin was to sing first. She sang a flawless rendition of the opening theme to 358/2 days, before walking blankly off of the stage.  
Xemnas stepped up next, and picked up the microphone, and grimaced, "_'Cause I've got a feeling- That tonight's gonna be a good night_!" and so on.  
The Organisation stared in silence throughout the song, and afterwards. Demyx was the first to move, doubling over in laughed, "Feeling! I get it!" he laughed, "You've got a feeling, Xemnas!"  
Many, many eyes rolled.  
Saix walked up next, "Twinkle, twinkle Kingdom Hearts. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a heart up in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, Kingdom Hearts, how I wonder what you are." His voice was high pitched, and screechy. Everyone, Sasori the only exception, covered their ears.  
"Okay..." Ni mumbled, "That was... interesting."  
Demyx, Axel and Roxas stepped up. Axel took the stage, as Roxas called, "_Ye-ea-ea-ah_."  
Axel began to sing, "_You've been such a good friend. Known you since I don't know when. We have lots of friends, but they – come and go_."  
At that exact moment, Demyx jumped off of the stage, and ran away, "Please! Don't make me!" he screamed, whilst Axel continued singing, "_Even though we've never said it, there's something that the two of us both know..."  
_I will not insult your ears to the rest of the song, but sing titles are given in the footnotes. Clapping followed the song, although most was slightly bemused as to why such a song was chosen.  
Marluxia and Larxene stepped up to sing – shock horror – a REAL duet! Marluxia began, overly emotional routine, "_At the edge of darkness, hope is whispering still. Tender, alluring, gently stirring. Memories unfurling in the mind... Warm wind from a far, forgotten country, long left behind. Distant and divided, worlds, and miles, apart. Dreams of days together, broken in my heart. Lives we saw before us, fade away. Sweet words we will never whisper. Words we long to say..."  
_Larxene rested one hand on his shoulder, "_Soft now, my love, and rest your hand in mine. Feel my love, I am near. Always my love, forever by your side. Love eternal, love undying. Wandering the empty road in twilight silver shade. Following the hidden paths, lone and unafraid. Let the sunlight free the heart, forever bound to roam, and let the waking morning find the weary traveller returning home."  
_They then entered a touching part of the song, where they each sang to the other, over one another. The affect was altogether ruined by Larxene's final comment, "FUCK YOU!" when he, accidently, stepped on her foot.  
Axel laughed. Roxas seemed disappointed by the ruining of the atmosphere.  
Luxord, Xigbar and Xaldin stepped up. Many members gulped at the slightly drunken state of the three.  
"_Number 1, he sucked his thumb, the day he went to sea,"_Xigbar seemed overly jolly.  
"_He climbed aboard a pirate ship, and the captain said to he,"_Xigbar sang, in remarkable tune  
"_We'reeee going this way, that way, forward and backwards, over the Irish sea. A bottle of run to fill my tum, and that's the life for me!_" Luxord finished. They continued through the other numbers in similar fashion (I'll just type the bit that changes).  
_"Number 2 needed the loo, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 3 climbed a tree, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 4 blew up a door, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 5 learnt to dive, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 6 tripped over bricks, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 7 danced in heaven, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 8 was very late, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 9 was right on time, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 10 bought a hen, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 11 went to Devon, the day he went to sea...  
"Number 12, now gold she held, the day she went to sea...  
"Number 13 was very dirty, the day he went to sea...  
_With the end of 'Number 13', the three members on the stage had more death threats littered around them than anyone else in the history of the Organisation.  
"I don't think they liked it," Ni mused aloud.  
Lexeaus, Nizoxe and Zexion stepped onto the stage. Nizoxe was tugging at the dress, trying to make it cover her shoulders. Lexeaus' was too small, and Zexion was glancing behind him. Before the song could even begin, Demyx jumped up onto the stage, and kidnapped the illusionist. Nizoxe looked at Lexeaus, who shrugged, before taking the stage.  
"_Oh be careful little eyes what you see, it's the second glance that binds the heart, as darkness pulls the strings. Be careful little feet where you go. For it's the little feet behind you, that are sure to follow._ _It's a slow fade, when you give your heart away. It's a slow fade, when black and white, are turned to grey .'nd thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid, when you give your heart away. People never crumble in a day," _the male sang, before continuing onto the next verse. His voice was surprisingly good.  
"_Oh be careful little ear what you hear. When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near. Be careful little lips what you say, for empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray,_" he looked directly at Xemnas, before continuing on, "_It's a slow fade, when you give your heart away. It's a slow fade, when black and white, are turned to grey. 'nd thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid, when you give your heart away. People never crumble in a day. The journey from your mind, to your hands, is shorter than you know. Oh be careful if you think you stand, for you just might be sinking."  
_The next part both he, and almost silently Nizoxe, sang, "_People never crumble in a day. Men never crumble in a day. I never crumbled in a day."  
_Nizoxe began to sing, in a child-like voice, _"Oh be careful little eye what you see. Oh be careful little eye what you see. For the power up above is looking down on us. Oh be careful little eye what you see."  
_The entire group were slightly creeped out by Nizoxe's singing voice, to say the least. Not to mention the calm and apathetic look as she sang it. Xemnas shifted uncomfortably under Lexeaus' glare, as the pair stepped down.  
Demyx dragged Zexion onto the stage, "Hey. We're a late entry for a duet."  
Zexion pouted in the corner.  
"Come on, Zexy. It'll be fun!" he squealed  
"_Someday, when we are wiser. When the world's older. When we have learned. I pray someday we may yet live to live, and let live."_ Demyx began, before prompting Zexion, who rolled his eyes.  
"_Someday, life will be fairer. Need will be rarer. And greed will not pay. Godspeed, this bright millennium, on its way. Let it come someday."  
"Someday, our fight will be won then. We'll stand in the sun then. That bright afternoon! 'Til then, on days when the sun is gone, we'll hang on, as we wish upon the moon."  
"There are some days dark and bitter, since we haven't got a friend. But a prayer for someday better is the one thing we all share."  
"Someday, when we are wiser, when the whole world is older, when we have learned. I pray, someday we may yet live to live, and let live."  
One day, some day...  
"Someday, life will be fairer, need will be rarer, greed will not pay."  
" Godspeed this bright millennium, let it come. As we wish upon the moon. One day, some day." "Soon."  
_Demyx bowed low, whilst Zexion disappeared into the shadows.  
"Well. That was a crappy waste of time. When the fuck is this fucking story getting fucking moving again!" Hidan shouted.  
"Noooo! Axel!" Roxas shouted, as Axel screamed like a girl.

Bethany sat typing at Charlotte's laptop, whilst the latter leant back on her bed.  
"BURRRRN!" Charley screamed.  
Bethany blinked.  
"Burn, you silly thing, burn!" a few moments of silence, "Ooh, Pidgey... Pidgey's rubbish... Get in the POKEBALL!" Charlotte sighed.  
Bethany rolled her eyes.  
"'It's not very effective'? BUT IT STILL KILLED IT!"  
Bethany continued to ignore her.  
"I got attacked by a Koffin..."  
Bethany sighed loudly, before deciding to type something else.  
"Surely if you keep on throwing mud at it, it'll get really pissed off with you... Oh good, it ran away – wait... THAT'S A BAD THING!"  
Really, why did her parents give her a pokemon game? She didn't have nearly the maturity to understand it's genius... Yeah right. Bethany rubbed her head, and stole the Xion part of the story.

The group sat up on the clock tower, eating bars of sea-salt ice-cream. Sai was eyeing it suspiciously, whilst Xion was quickly eating it. Repliku was busy glaring at Sai.  
"What are you staring at?" Sai glared, "You wanna start something?"  
Repliku smirked, "No, why, do you?"  
"So what if I do?"  
"Sai. As nice as it is that you're displaying some form of feeling toward another being, do you think it could be something OTHER than hate?" Sakura scolded.  
"It's not hate, Sakura. I am incapable of feeling such petty emotions."  
"That's what you said the last five times."  
Sai glared at her, whilst still succeeded in glaring at Repliku.  
"Sai, would you give it a rest already? What's wrong with you," Naruto groaned.  
"I have no emotions."  
"We've been here before," Xion groaned, "Can't I ever eat ice-cream in peace? You're fighting even worse than Vexen and Marluxia."  
"Who?"  
All three Kingdom Hearts characters mentally face-slapped, "Guys with no emotions. Apparently."  
"And Vexen created us. Marluxia was lord of the castle, but Xemnas was his boss. Really, it was all a coup, designed by Saix, to kill off five members at once, but anyhow..." Naime sighed.  
Ice-cream now finished, Xion hopped up, "Gotta go."  
"Why?..." Naruto asked.  
Xion blinked, blushing, "Well..."  
"I don't get it!" Naruto shouted.  
Xion ran off. Namine grabbed Naruto, when he tried to follow.  
"She's going to kill herself!" Naruto shouted.  
"No, Naruto. She needs to go to the loo." Repliku deadpanned.  
Sakura smiled darkly, "You're such an idiot, Naruto!"  
Sai's eyes lit up, "Is that why you like him, then?"  
Sakura turned on him, "WHAT did you say?"

"Du sind ein Obstregle!" Bethany shouted at her brother.  
"Du sind eine Hund!" he shouted back.  
"Du sind eine Katze!"  
"Du sind ein Tisch!"  
"Du sind ein Raidiergummi!"  
"Du sind ein Sac!"  
"Du sind ein Buch! Und ein Computerspielt!"  
"Huh?"  
"You are a book and a computer game. Du sind ein Rad!"  
"Du sind ein Auto!"  
"Du sind ein Autobarn!" their father shouted.  
"Motorway," Bethany muttered, "Du sind ein Pfred!"  
"Du sind eine Wellensitti!"  
"Du sind ein Tut!"  
"Du sind ein Meerswinechen!"  
"Du sind ein... Wait, I can't say that..."  
"Why not?"  
"It's really rude..."  
"So?" her Mum said, "Let's hear it!"  
Bethany shuddered slightly, "Du sind ein Swinejunge!"  
"What does that mean?"  
"Pigboy," she muttered.  
"Well... Du sind eine Hause!"  
"Du sind Kliebstoff."  
"Du sind eine Computer."  
"Du sind... unerhlich, engeduldig und faul!"  
"Du sind eine faul!"  
Bethany rolled her eyes, "Du sind Brille! Du sind ein Hemd! Du sind eine Ohrinnge!" and ran off to bed.  
"How do I say 'my family are all weird?' he father asked.  
"Daddy, you say it 'Meine Familie sind alles bizzar.'" she called back, "Gute Nacht!"

Sasori looked at Vexen, who looked at Sasori, who looked at Vexen, who looked at Sasori, who looked at Vexen. Who looked at Sasori ("Believe it!" – Naruto gets chased back to the ice-cream shop by the authors).  
The room was perfectly white, with a single, and tiny, television showing static. No matter what they did, it would not tune. Unsure of why they were here, the two men sat on the (white) sofa, staring at each other.  
_"Hello and welcome to Anime heaven. If you are not Anime, we are not sure why you are here, but hi anyway. Do not try to adjust your television set, for we control what you see and hear."_ A female voice, sickly sweet and mechanical in tone, chimed.  
Larxene appeared in the room, as did a pool table.  
"What are you staring at, suckers?"  
Vexen was the quickest off the mark, "Each other."  
The blonde girl cackled manically, before shooting electricity at the two.  
"How did we die?" Vexen asked, his tone seething in boredom.  
Larxene laughed, "Tobi blew you up."  
"How did you die?"  
"A THING by the name of axel killed me." What they didn't realise was that it was, quite literally, an axel.  
The sickly sweet voice started to chime once more, _"Please view the television set – it is now working. With each death, something else will be provided for your enjoyment. Feel free to use the pool table and anything else that turns up."_  
The three turned to view it, watching some form of insanity that we're not typing (meaning the karaoke prize giving).

Itachi was walking down a corridor, for some Uchihaish reason. The walls were white, because they're still in the World that Never Was. As always.  
As he approached a corner, he sensed unidentified chakra. For some other Uchihaish reason, he decided to investigate.  
Two girls sat on the pristine white floor. The shorter wore leggings with a Jashin necklace, and the taller a turquoise skirt, with a pair of glasses. Both wore bright purple hoodies.  
"Hi Itachi!" the shorter squealed, "How you doing?"  
The taller looked over, and blinked.  
Itachi blinked back, and then shrugged.  
"Do you wanna hug?" the shorter batted her eyelids.  
"No."  
"Ohhhhh..." she whined, "I want to hug him..."  
The taller patted her head, as she perked up.  
"You'd better, or else I'll continue that story with you and Deidara! In college!"  
Itachi glared at her.  
"Really!"  
Itachi shuddered.  
"Just kidding Itachi... I'd never do that to you. You're my se-third favourite character."  
"And you're somewhere between my first and tenth favourite," the taller commented.  
"My first is Deidara, my second is Hidan, and my third is you!"  
"Top five."  
Itachi looked at them, "What does this have to do with anything?"  
The taller shrugged. The shorted grinned, "Good question!"  
"Hmm... And you're here because...?"  
"Why were we here, again, Bethany?" the shorter asked.  
"One. Two Three." Bethany counted her in.  
"Oh yeah! Count in properly! And a one and a two and a –"  
"-Three!"  
Music appeared from no-where. Charley began to sing...  
_'Am I more than an anime otaku_

'_I've been dying to watch the same thing again_

'_Cause that's just epic this week_

'_Lie in the grass, next to the ninja battlefield_

'_I'm just a crazy fangirl_

'_But you're just a fictional guy_

'_(A crazy fangirl, but you're just fictional team)_

'_Drop a heart, change my name_

'_I'm always sleeping in, and owning too many plushies_

'_We're going down, down to anime town_

'_And Sugar, we're going down singing_

'_I'll be another one with a laptop_

'_A loaded save file, type it and write it_

'_[x2]'_

Bethany picked up from there:

'_Is this more than you bargained for yet_

'_Oh don't mind me 'cause I'm playing games in the closet_

'_Wishing my siblings would disappear_

'_Isn't it messed up how this is the first song I think of_

'_I'm just a female fan-writer_

'_But you're just some guys from my games_

'_(Female fan-writer, but you're just some guys from my games)_

'_Find heartless, kill with key_

'_I never sleep in; I'm supporting the bad guys_

'_We're going down, down to Twilight Town,_

'_And Roxas, I'm buying the ice-creams_

'_I'm just the crazy girl with the laptop,_

'_A strange taste in music, fashion and art_

'_[x2]'_

Then, they started a duet:

'_Down, down take off our blazers and ties,'_

'_And Charley, we're writing some crack,'_ Bethany sang.

'_I'll go get your notebook,_' Charley replied.

'_It's got all our notes in, so what if it's pink.'_ They finished, together.

Itachi stood still for exactly five seconds, before running out, holding his face.  
"Is he gonna throw up?" Charley grinned.  
"Maybe... Were we really that bad?"  
"We shouldn't sing anymore, Bethany. It's a hazard. We're already banned in seventeen different dimensions."  
Bethany looked at her, "No. Banned from singing. We've still got the inter-fictional passports."  
"Yeah. Those are always good. But I'm banned from visiting five places I care not to mention."  
"You mean Konoha, Ame, Iwa, Kusa and Kiri?"  
"NO!" she shouted, "Just places, ok! I'm legal in all ninja states!"

"I just caught Kabuto," Charlotte grinned.  
"You can't catch it. In any game – you revive or breed it."  
"No, the REAL one!" she pointed to Ochimaru's minion, hanging from a rope tied to the ceiling.  
Bethany looked up, and pulled on her glasses, "You mean the guy I always picture as Sasori?"  
"Yeah."  
"Oh, I see. Glasses. White hair. Cooler than Naruto."  
"Well, that's not hard. The kid wears a fluresant orange jumpsuit!"  
Bethany shrugged, "Shall I let him down?"  
Charlotte shouted up, "If I let you down, will you stop perving out my room?"  
"I wasn't in the first place."  
Charlotte raised an eyebrow.  
Bethany raised a hand in the air, and waited for Charley to nod at her to speak, "I am inclined to believe him."  
"Fine," Charlotte rolled her eyes, and allowed him down from the ceiling, "What were you doing?"  
"I was hi-looking for Orochimaru," he replied, dusting himself down, "Shall we go find him?"  
"YEAH!" Charley shouted, walking out of the door.  
Bethany shook her head, "Kabuto. Why did you say 'hi-'. Can I take that as hiding? And Charley. This is Oozimaree you're talking about."  
Both of them ran back into the room.  
"Do you mean Orochimaru?"  
"Yeah. The snake freak." She grinned.  
"Someday..." Charley sighed, "You'll learn the name."  
Bethany shrugged, "Maybe."  
"You will."  
"Now, to Oozimarkee-proof the room!"  
Charley face-palmed, and looked to see Kabuto hiding under her sister's bed.  
"Why are you under the bed?... Can I hide with you?"  
"Sure."  
Charley squirmed under the bed.  
Bethany looked at them, "Well, that looks awkward," she mumbled.  
"No it's not," Charley squealed.  
"Oh great. Fangirl," Kabuto shuffled away from her.  
"Don't worry. She's a Deidara fangirl," Bethany sighed. "It's me you need to watch out for... I don't have an obsession yet."  
"Technically, I'm an Akatsuki fangirl," she raised a finger.  
"True," Bethany sat with her back to the door, "Now, to capture Ozimarsoo."  
"Orochimaru."  
"That's what I said. Orozuchimarkee."  
Kabuto raised an eyebrow, "What the hell?"

_Song lyrics belong to the following songs:  
_Xemnas – I've got a feeling: Black eyed peas  
Saïx – Twinkle Twinkle Little star: who knows, with Froggie adaptations  
Axel & Roxas – Together Forever: curtsey of Pokémon  
Marluxia & Larxene – The Song of Hope (Duet): from the Lord of the Rings musical  
Nizoxe & Lexeaus – Slow Fade: Casting Crowns, with Froggie adaptations  
Demyx & Zexion – Someday: courtesy of Disney  
Luxord, Xaldin & Xigbar – I don't know the name of the song, or where it's from.  
Bethany & Charley – Sugar we're going down: Fall Out Boy, with adaptations. Lots of them.

Deidara – Tick Tick Boom – The Hives  
Sasori – Puppet – Thousand Foot Krutch  
Hidan – Living On A Prayer – Bon Jovi  
Kakuzu – Innerpartysystem – Don't Stop  
Itachi – AFI – Miss Murder  
Kisame & Ni – Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas  
Pain – Pain – Three Days Grace 

Charley Footnote: Damned Eevee still hasn't evolved... Grr.

A.N. We're not sure who's thinking of this, but in the next chapter... Team Taka are picking locks, some more crack, Reiko meets Erin meets filler (joking... Or are we?), some more people die, Kabuto's back, more characters turn up, Orochimaru's still insane, and we finally find out some of our author's darkest secrets (including what universes they're banned in)! (And some not-so-dark secrets)

A.N.N: We do too many ... Ok!


	7. Chapter 7

C.B's Note:

Froggie's note: I don't really have much to say. Sorry it took so long, but the only person who seems to be bothered has been grounded, and so can't read it at the moment anyway. Any errors are almost certainly my fault, sorry about the large amount of author comments in this, but we needed to get the plot up to speed. Oh, and the first bit o conversation's real. The rest... Is a little bit more than reality.

C.B's Disclaimer: TORCHWOOD TORCHWOOD TORCHWOOD WATCH IT!

Froggie's Disclaimer: If you haven't got the idea yet, you're not going to.

"Legally it's their house. But we want it," Bethany giggled.  
"So we're stealing it... Deidara's so tired he can't get up..."  
Silence.  
"Is it weird if I kiss this book right now? It's so cute; he just fell on his but! It's like a baby panda..." silence, "It's like a baby panda..." silence, "He fell on his butt..." silence, "It's like a baby panda." silence, "He fell on his butt, " silence, "It's like a baby panda," silence, "Aren't you tired of that typing yet?" silence, "Aren't you listening..." silence, "Why are you ignoring me? Oh my gosh! It's not Bethany! It's a robot sent by Oochimari to kill me! Oh wait, Oochimari. It really is Bethany typing."  
"Yep!" she finally spoke, then laughed, "I think we've finished kicking the people out their house!"  
She flipped to Sims3.  
"Now Sasuke's tired too. They should rest for a bit, then go back to killing each other."

Almost everyone sat in silence for a while.  
"Wait a minute," Deidara broke the silence, "Wasn't Sasori-no-dana here a moment ago?"  
"What of it?" Black Zetsu raised an eyebrow.  
"And wasn't he dead, un?"  
"Oh yeah...!"  
"And where's Xion gone?" Roxas shouted.  
Everyone shrugged, except for Nizoxe and Ni, who rolled their eyes.  
"Now that the plot holes have been filled... I'm expecting the next piece of filler right about... Now!" Ni smiled.  
A set of keys fell in everyone's lap.  
Nizoxe sighed, "Speak of the Devil and he shall appear," she mumbled.  
Erin frowned slightly, looking at the keys in her lap. Slowly, she stood up and summoned a dark portal. With one look and the words – 'My friends – they need me.' – She entered the portal.  
"Where's she off to?" Ni pulled a face.  
Nizoxe sighed, "1, 2, 3..."  
"Oh, right! Yeah!" Ni grinned. "Ten dollars that she's gone to see her boyfriend!"  
"WOW! What's that?" Demyx shouted portalling out of the room. Everyone followed him out...

Charley and Kabuto unexpectedly found themselves hiding in a closet and Charley frowned.  
"Is he gone yet?"  
"_Oh Kabuto-kun..._"  
"I don't think so."  
"When do you think he'll leave?"  
"I think in about... 5 hours..."  
"What do we do til then?"  
They both gazed at each other for five minutes then heard a creak as the door opened.  
"OH GOD!"  
Fortunately it was only the wind...  
"Wait, what wind?"  
Uh oh...

Xion and co, as they are known to our most strange of authors (Bethany is typing right now) were still sitting on the clock tower.  
"Well, this is entertaining?" It was a question, not a statement, curtsey of Xion.  
"No it's not."  
Their skateboards lacked wheels, and so they continued to sit.  
"I spy with my little eye..."  
"Sky."  
"You win. Again..."  
"What are we going to do?"  
"Sit here..."  
(The authors are thinking...)  
"And sit here..."  
(Still thinking)  
"And..."  
A sudden gust of wind blew Namine from the clock tower.  
"Help!" she screamed, clinging onto the edge.  
Before anyone else could react, Sai grabbed her arm and pulled her up. Smiling all the time, before pulling her into a hug.

Bethany threw her Maths revision guide somewhere in her room. It was even messier than previously, with various revision books and sheets littered all over the floor. Once her notebooks (all 13 of them), and six books on the universe, all containing numerous photos from various telescopes around the world (and even a few dedicated to the Hubble Space Telescope). Not to mention the soft toys scattered all over the place, as she had just changed the sheets, and not yet returned them.  
Slamming her head into her bedside table, she screamed, "I HATE STUDY LEAVE!"  
"You ok, Bethany?" her mum shouted up the stairs.  
"Yeah. Just... Yeah." She called back.  
Rolling towards the wall, she began to mutter to herself, "Nitrobacter, Nitrosommes, Rhizobacter, Azobacter..."  
The step at the top of the stairs creaked "Yes?" she halted her stream of bacteria. Her room was at the top of the stairs.  
Nothing happened, so she shrugged, and went downstairs to prepare for the next exam - Biology .

A very large selection of vehicles sat before the Organisation/Akatsuki mix. Notably, a bright red VW campervan, with white flowers on it, and some push bikes.  
"Well..."  
Itachi raised his eyebrow, but remained as silent as ever.  
"So... I'm assuming this is the filler?" Ni questioned, before shrugging, "Alright guys! Test your keys in the locks!"  
After a long time, the cars and other vehicles were revealed as follows:  
Xemnas, being Superior of the Inbetween, had a minibus. Pein also had one, and both were identical. With one exception – Xemnas' had 'Organisation XIII' typed on the sides, and Pein's had 'The Akatsuki – S-rank missing nin!'  
"A little conspicuous for evil villains," Xigbar laughed, before being shown to his car – a VW campervan. But not the red one, mind you, a bright pink one with Hello Kitty stickers on it. Let us say that he looked suitably ashamed.  
Xaldin ignored his whining skilfully, as he inspected his state-of-the-art bat mobile.  
Hidan took to skilfully using his turbo-charged lawnmower to sacrifice dusks to Jashin (or so he claimed), whilst also chasing Tobi's Barbie pink VW Beetle all around Marluxia's garden.  
Marluxia was suitably horrified by this, and had abandoned his equally pink smart car in the hopes of rescuing his prized Tulips. Unfortunately for him, they were destroyed anyway. Fortunately for him, 11's power is over plants. So he resurrected them, before treating them like small children.  
Saix was ignoring him, as he attempted to fix the sun-shield on his red Peugeot 205.  
Axel, being Axel, was thrilled to discover that the bright red campervan was for him. He swiftly set about installing seatbelts in the back ("Remember children: always wear your seatbelt!" He beams to an imaginary camera, "Even villains like us find time to plug them in!")  
Konan, on the other hand, was washing her rally Subaru – complete with race markings and golden alloys. Many men looked on enviously.  
Not Zetsu, however, who was occupied with his white aptera (look it up – it's an eco-car, that wouldn't do normal people, but looks like it and Zetsu would get on swimmingly).  
Kakuzu was graced with a Tata-nano. He would be pleased to discover that it is one of the cheapest cars on the planet (according to whatever site I was on at that moment), but no so pleased with the bills.  
Demyx, being the epically lazy, water-wielding, far-too-emotional, believing-in-hearts Nobody that we all either love or hate (I'm category 1, although he is rather annoying when he's on your team) had the perfect car! A Bubble car!  
However, Kisame's car was not a car. He stared at the shark-shaped submarine in the Lake That Never Was, Itachi standing beside him. Itachi's car was a black Ferrari tunero 450. But, being almost blind, he couldn't find it. Despite the size.  
Luxord was looking at a mini cooper, with a Union Jack painted on the top, "They do realise that this isn't a British accent, right?" He asked, to no-one in particular. (The author would like to mention that she is British, and his voice sounds like no accent that she has ever heard in her own country.)  
Lexeaus had a giant Land Rover parked up by the castle gates. He simply stared at it.  
Deidara was having an immense amount of fun driving around on a motorbike, which make pleasing 'putting' noises from the exhaust. Normally a sign of breakage, but the blonde ninja likened it to a 'mini-explosion'... (You should be able to see where this is going).  
Zexion and Roxas, both being underage, had been supplied with push-bikes. Orange pushbikes. Zexion looked at his distastefully (possibly more so because it was sized for his real form than anything else), but Roxas seemed quite pleased with his filler-gift.  
Ni was busy polishing her police car, complete with authentic lights, whilst Nizoxe was busy changing the tyres on her lime green VW lupo (I, Bethany, want one of these for my first car!)  
Left ignored by the remainder of the group were a pair of skiis, a white Ford Galaxy and a red Peugeot 306.  
Transmissions shall be resumed from here later.

Transmissions are being resumed...  
"But, what is the purpose of these items?" Pein asked.  
Everyone shrugged.  
"How are they making theirs go?" Demyx cocked his head to one side.  
Right on queue, everyone realised that they couldn't drive. Hidan crashed into Tobi, who got thrown into Luxord, who skidded into Kakuzu, who got vaulted into the Lake that Never Was, which threw up Kisame's submarine, which landed on top of Xigbar, Xaldin, Xemnas, Lexeaus and Konan. This threw rubble all over Pein and Saix. Just to top matters off, Deidara drove straight into the mess, and his motorbike blew up.  
Following these recent events, the following canon characters, in this part of the plot, remain ALIVE – Deidara (who knows how), Zexion, Demyx, Axel, Roxas, Zetsu (because man eating plants are EPIC!) and Marluxia. Itachi also survived the incident, and was staring out over the newly dried lake, not seeing any of it... Kisame was standing next to him. Hidan, although not technically dead, had been blasted into tiny little pieces, and Kakuzu wasn't around to sew him back together. Therefore, he is counted as dead. 

"Hey assholes!" said a red haired girl opening the door wider and grinning.  
Kabuto sighed in relief, "Oh, it's just you guys."  
Charley blinked for two seconds then smiled wide.  
"Hey wait a minute... Aren't you Tayuya?"  
"That's my name, don't wear it out."  
"Tayuya, mind your language." retorted an orange haired man from behind her.  
"Jirobo...?" Charley squeaked. "How many of you guys are there?"  
"There are just us and Sakon, Ukon and Kidomaru."  
"Why are you all in my house?"  
"We're crashing here seeing as we were dragged here by this weird portal thing..."  
"Ok..."  
There was a crash from the other room and muted arguing before Sakon and Ukon walked in.  
"Hey."  
"Hey."  
Charley was beginning to freak out.  
"But if you guys are here... Then where's Orochimaru?"  
DOOM... THIS WAY COMES... .

*time skip*

Once everyone, minus Orochimaru, was assembled in the living room Charley moved on to question them. Tayuya was channel surfing, Sakon and Ukon were arguing with her over which channel to watch despite Ukon not being able to see as he was behind Sakon. Kidomaru was hunting spiders behind the couch and Jirobo was eating a stack of crisps. Kabuto sat between them all sighing and resting his head on one hand.  
"So you guys got stuck here and you're crashing in my house?"  
"Yeah, kinda."

Raizo finally stopped walking, smiling at a tree.  
"What is that idiot doing now?" Zabuza muttered.  
"I don't know, master Zabuza, but he's been doing it for a long time now..."  
It was then that a dark portal appeared and Erin, of all people, stepped out.  
"Oh. Hi, Jiminy..." she smiled.  
"S...Sakura?" Raizo replied. (vol. 28)  
"Okay... What the hell?"  
"Why not explain the situation to that boy, Riku?" Erin twisted her hair around a finger.  
"Do you know why...?" (vol. 34)  
"Are you going to tell us what you're doing, or not?"  
Erin turned to Haku and Zabuza, as did Raizo.  
"I am under no obligation to tell you." (vol. 44)  
"Okay, you know there are many other worlds out there besides your castle and this town, right?"  
"And your point is?" Zabuza raised an eyebrow. Haku kept his silence.  
"They've been secret because they've never been connected. Until now. When the Heartless came, everything changed." Erin smiled, flicking her wrist. Darkness swirled around it, and a shadow Heartless appeared before her.  
"First off, what the hell is that? Second off, what the hell are you talking about?"  
"Master Zabuza, calm down. I'm sure there's a meaning behind all this."  
"Gosh, is that all that's left of the worlds taken by the Heartless?" Erin blinked at them, "They gather in darkness, master less and free...until they weave together to make Kingdom Hearts. And when that time comes, we can truly, finally exist." (KH 2)  
"That doesn't make any sense..." Zabuza growled.  
"In other words, it's like how addin' mint flavour to a swirled chocolate n' vanilla soft serve makes it even **more **delicious." (vol. 44)  
"I guess that makes sense – not entirely plausible, but..."  
Haku simply nodded.  
"So, now what?" Zabuza asked.  
Raizo looked quickly at Erin, who nodded. Reaching out her arm, she created another dark co-oridoor, "The worlds gave us this doorway. They want us to be the guardians of their destiny!" (KH 2)  
She stepped inside, and smiled behind herself, "Shh, quiet. We've gotta be careful."  
Raizo followed, grinning.  
"Darn you, curiosity," Zabuza quietly cursed, following them. Haku ran beside him...

Returning from her exam, she could sense something wrong in her room. Frowning, she paced up the stairs. She was about to say 'hello', before deciding against it. It would only lead to trouble.  
She squeaked open the door. Eyes narrowed, she looked around the room. Nothi- Wait.  
Her chair was on her bed. She walked over to her bed, before flipping around to face her desk, and ducking down.  
"Up," she muttered, rubbing her head. Three male figures scrambled out from under her desk. Two brunettes, one silver haired...  
"Sorry," the silver haired one ducked his head.  
Bethany shook her head tiredly, "Fine. You can hide in here."  
"Wha-?"  
"Look. I'm writing the story, and know that you are the data forms of Riku, Sora and Tidus. I also know that you're running away from a crazy red-head, who happens to be called Kairi, but I'm lacking the inspiration to find out slowly. So, you can hide here. Well... It might be a squash, so you can sleep in the conservatory. Or the garden shed." She smiled. "And D. Is short for data."  
"Say again?" D. Sora frowned.  
Bethany grabbed their hands, and dragged them downstairs, through the living room, and into the conservatory. A wooden table was on one side, covered in coloured paper and arts/crafts materials. Shelves lined the brick wall, which were covered in toys. A broken keyboard was on a make-shift stand near the door, and dolls clothes covered the floor, "You three can sleep in here, and hide from Kairi. If you need something, you found my room, and you can spend the days up there. Don't let my parents find you, or my evil siblings. Keep the noise down. Don't do anything illegal, incriminating, swear, make inflammatory comments, talk-down religions or use electronics after dinner. Good day."

Sora ran up to the door, Sasuke, Karin, Jugo and Suigetsu close behind, "Let us in!"  
And electronic voice beeped out, "To enter, you must pass the assigned tests. Please nominate a female player."  
"I vote Sasuke!" Suigetsu shouted.  
Sasuke glared in response, before nodding to Karin, "What? Fine..."  
"Please step up to the touch-board."  
Karin did so, rolling her eyes.  
"Please begin the game. To enter, you must win."  
The screen turned on, as did one above it, to reveal that it was, truly, a giant DSi. Karin won with ease.  
"Congratulations, girl. You pass the test. Please now return to the station plinth..."  
Karin was pushed backwards by a strong gust of wind, "See, Sasuke?" she flirted.  
Sora pouted successfully.  
(And so, for the second time recently... I had wanted to get on with something else, but... *sigh*)  
"Completed."  
Suigetsu appeared on the plinth previously occupied by Karin. With a gag on.  
"You must now win against me, the door, water-man!" the door screamed.  
"What the hell?"  
"Welcome to my world!" Sora laughed, "You should meet the GM clones!"  
(The battle will be written in simple format, as I have edited it twice, and lost it both times.)  
_The Door sent out Quilava level 45_

_Intruder sent out Manaphy level 49_

_Manaphy used Bubble beam_

_The Door's Quilava was knocked out!_

_The Door sent out Gyrados level 36._

_Manaphy, get back! Go Riolu (level 50)!_

_The door's Gyrados used bite_

_Intruder's Riolu used aura sphere._

_The door's Gyrados used dragon rage._

_Intruder's Riolu used shadow claw._

_The Door's Gyrados used surf._

_Riolu, get back (12 HP)! Go Mudkip (level 35)._

_The Door's Gyrados used bite._

_The Door's Gyrados used dragon rage._

_Intruder's Mudkip used surf (3 HP)._

_It was a Critical Hit!_

_Mudkip, get back! Go shellos (level 21)_

_The Door's Gyrados used Aqua Tail._

_Shellos was knocked out! Go manaphy!_

_Intruder's Manaphy used waterfall! It was not very effective..._

_The Door's Gyrados was knocked out._

_The Door sent out Drowzee, level 15._

_Manaphy, get back! Go, Squirtle! (Level 24)_

_The Door's Drowzee used hypnosis._

_Squirtle fell asleep!_

_The Door withdrew Drowzee._

_Tentacruel level 24 was sent out._

_Squirtle is asleep_

_Squirtle get back! Go, Horsea!_

_The Door's Tentacruel used acid._

_Horsea was knocked out... Go Manaphy!_

_The Door withdrew Tentacruel._

_The Door sent out Gloom level 24._

_Intruder's Manaphy used surf._

_The Door's Gloom was knocked out. Misdrevious level 20 was sent in._

_Manaphy, get back! Go Squirtle!_

_The Door's Misdrevious used astonish._

_Misdrevious was withdrawn from battle._

_The Door sent out Tentacruel._

_Squirtle woke up and used bite!_

_Squirtle, get back! Go get 'em, Manaphy!_

_The Door's Tentacruel used wrap._

_Intruder's Manaphy was wrapped._

_The Door withdrew Tentacruel, and sent out Misdrevious_

_Intruder's Manaphy used hyper beam to no effect._

_Intruder's Manaphy used surf._

_The Door's Misdrevious was knocked out!_

_Tentacruel was sent in._

_Intruder's Manaphy used hyper beam._

_The Door's Tentacruel was knocked out. Drowzee was sent out._

_Intruder's Manaphy must recharge._

_The Door's Drowzee missed with Hypnosis._

_Manaphy, get back! Go get 'em, Squirtle!_

_The Door's Drowzee used confusion._

_Intruder's Squirtle used bite._

_The Door's Drowzee flinched_

_Intruder's Squirtle used rapid spin!_

_..._

_Intruder wins!_  
Suigetsu was teleported back to his team, still gagged. The computer went into overload.  
"Cannot... Cannot... Loose."  
"We won!" Sora grinned.  
"Yes we did," Sasuke patted the hyper boy on the head.  
The door unlocked, as the four ninja and the Keyblade wielder entered that which never was...

A while later, and Bethany had finished her exams. She was earning some well earnt rest, relaxing on her bed; soon to be tipped (it was only 19 years old – older than the author herself). D. Riku was sitting on her chair; D. Sora on her suitcase, ready for the wedding at the weekend, and D. Tidus was sitting on top of the pile of books on her desk.  
Tidus picked up a blue sheet of paper, with official looking writing on, "Hey, what's this?"  
Bethany glanced over, "Oh, just my visa requests for interfictional travel..."  
"Untimed and unlimited visas to Kingdom Hearts (all worlds), Pokemon (all regions) and Naruto (all states). 12 year visa to Harvest Moon (all islands) and Harvest Fishing)."  
"Uh – huh." She replied, thinking about how best to fix some plot holes...  
Tidus flipped the paper over, "Banned in Sims for actions of genocide..."  
"Hey!" Bethany shouted, "Ghosts are cool! And it wasn't genocide... Quite."  
"...The realm of little brother's bedroom, for theft..."  
"I was rescuing his books..."  
"...And the 'real' world."  
"That one's complicated." She grinned, "Still here, though."  
The three of them looked at her.  
"Hey – it's not as bad as Charley!"  
They didn't seem convinced.  
"Fine! We'll go meet her, then!"

Anime Heaven was suddenly very full. In the time it took Vexen to blink, Xemnas, Xigbar, Xaldin, Lexeaus, Saix, Luxord, Pein, Konan, Hidan, Kakuzu and Tobi had all materialised. The pre-recorded welcome message bleeped away happily, as various items appeared. It was starting to get very crowded...  
"Where the fuck is this?" Hidan shouted.  
Nobody graced the question with an answer.  
A long while later...  
"Hum... Intriguing... It seems as though we are being killed off at an ever increasing rate, for no obvious reason..." Vexen observed, "More study is required." He made his way over to the brand new lab, situated in the middle of the room.  
The television turned itself on...  
_The remainder of the Organisation and Akatsuki had returned to the meeting room. Zexion was reading, Demyx was playing his Sitar, Axel and Roxas were doing... things... behind one of the chairs (take that to be as dirty as you like – but I'm thinking Origami), Itachi seemed to now be completely blind, as Kisame was having to lead him everywhere. Marluxia was lamenting the loss of his garden. Deidara was sculpting – we are uncertain whether it were exploding clay or not – whist wrapped in a large number of bandages. Zetsu, being Zetsu, was finishing off 'disposing' of the bodies of the fallen comrades. Ni and Niz were sitting, as though waiting for something.  
There was a knock at the door...  
Erin, Raizo, Zabuza and Haku entered.  
"__Hey, what's up?" Erin grinned.  
"And, to whom do we have the pleasure of addressing."  
"It's the guy who's *not* Ansem!" Erin said in a deadly serious tone.  
Zabuza growled.  
_The television flickered off again.  
"Well... At least we know what's going on, now..."

Bethany jumped out of the back seat of the car, grinning.  
"And text me to say if you want tea!"  
"Yes, Mum!" she shouted back, running up to the house before her, and pressing the doorbell. She didn't release it until a girl with her hair tied in a towel answered it – none other than the infamous Charley.  
"Hey."  
"Hi." Bethany turned around, "These are the Data Riku, Data Sora and Data Tidus."  
"Where are you banned from?" D. Sora immediately asked.  
Charley grinned, "Oh, just Pokemon for crimes against gaming, Mario for trashing Peach's castle (we had a party, ok?) And some stuff I can't remember which universes... But I think I was probably high. I've got the papers. Somewhere."  
She waved it off.  
"And she's your partner in time?"  
"Oh, yes!" Bethany seemed thrilled by the idea.  
Two hours later...  
Bethany and Charlotte sat on the latter's bed. The Sound ninja were sitting on her sister's bed, facing in the opposite direction. Well, with the exception of Ukon. Data Riku and Kabuto were sitting on the floor in front of the crazy authors, leaning against the bed and gazing at the books. Data Tidus and Data Sora were sparing in between the bookshelves and beds – a space barely wide enough to walk between. Everyone had a bag of crisps next to them – some open, some not, and all in various stages of completion.  
"Sora. Tidus... You're going to break something."  
The doorbell rang.  
"Tayuya, can you get that?" Charley shouted.  
The ninja blanked her.  
"You do realise that you're the only person supposed to be here? So maybe you should get the door..." Bethany suggested.  
"Fine," Charley stood up, "And don't eat my crisps, Sora!"  
"Why would I-?" the Data Sora turned to face her.  
D. Tidus hit him square in the back, "I win!"  
"No fair!"D. Sora laughed.  
Charley re-appeared. A man with a clipboard was following her.  
"So, where is the damp?" he asked.  
Charley pointed to the back corner. The man made his way over, dodging the legs of various fictional beings. Bethany pretended to ignore him as he worked.  
Her Dad not being in, and her mother out with her sister, Charley had to show the man around the small house.  
A little while later, the damp man left, telling them to open the windows. They heard the man drive off, and Bethany, feeling immature this morning, went over to the window to wave goodbye to him. She did so, but returned looking confused, "There's a lorry outside, that doesn't belong to the damp man..."  
"Why's there a lorry?" Charley asked.  
"What is a lorry?" D. Sora asked.  
"Um... You don't need to know."  
Bethany thought for a moment, "Wait... We were giving out vehicles, so..."  
"You mean...?" They resorted to whispering, just loud enough for all in the room to hear.  
"I think Orozooshe's here..."  
"Who's that?" Tayuya frowned.  
"Orozumari..."  
"Who?"  
"Ozumarokee."  
"Sorry?"  
"Oo – Zee – Mark – EEEEE!"  
"What the hell?"  
"She means Orochimaru," Charley sighed.  
"Of course I mean the snake freak!" Bethany shouted.  
The doorbell rang.

*1 this is an inside joke.


	8. Chapter 8

Suigetsu, Sasuke, Sora, Karin and Jugo stepped through the door...

"Shopping mall!" Sora squealed, running around in circles, "Pleasey, pleasey pleasey pleasey please!"

"Who gave him sugar?" Sasuke glared at his team-mates.

Nobody owned up to the most dastardly of acts.

"Humph." Sasuke grunted.

"Come on, Sas!" Sora pulled his arm, "Shopping time!"

"No. Go find your own clothes - I'm going to stock up on supplies." Sasuke  
walked off toward M&S food.

Sora watched him go, "S... Sasuke?" he whispered, eyes tearing up.

Karin grinned, and ran up beside Sasuke, dropping into step with him. As the other three boys watched, Karin muttered something to him, before being slapped in the face. Hard enough to push her over.

Sora cheered up, "I know!" he shouted, "Meet you back here in ten!"

Jugo and Suigetsu were left unattended.

"So...?" Suigetsu began.

Jugo's arm twitched...

"Oh, crap."

*10 minutes later*

Sasuke took one look at the once-white decor, "Karin." He muttered.

"What?"

"I need my-"

"Sword?"Karin cut him off.

"-Tomatoes." Sasuke finished.

Karin reached into one bag, and pulled out a packet of tomatoes. They had,  
between them, six bags of the red things, and six bags of rice balls. Full  
stop. She handed them to him.

"Thank you." he ripped off the packaging.

"Can I have a kiss?"

"Get lost." Sasuke threw a tomato in her face, before turning to the room,  
"SUIGETSU! JUGO!"

The two appeared, both coated in bruises. Sasuke pelted them with the red  
fruits.

Once they were both covered in pips, Sasuke spoke, "Clean up and find me my  
boyfriend." Before walking back into M&S food.

"Where are you going?"

"To replace the supplies."

*9 hours and 50 minutes later*

"Hi, guys!" Sora called, running into the foyer.

"Sora!" Sasuke called, running to catch the boy in a hug.

Team Taka raised their eyebrows at him, "Okay..."

The two walked back to the group.

"What took you so long?"

"I said 10!" Sora defended, "And I bought you all pressies!"

He reached into one of his many bags, "For you, Karin..." he drew out an  
expensive-looking bottle of perfume, and passed it to her.

She took it from him, and studied it carefully, "Not bad..."

He then put down many of his bags - all except the one he had been carrying in his arms.

"Jugo..." He carefully reached into the bag, and withdrew a bird cage. Inside,  
there was a small, blue-coloured budgie.

Silently, Jugo took it, a small smile on his face. The budgie tweeted at him.

"Suigetsu..." From the same bag again, he withdrew a very large box. He passed  
it to Suigetsu, who opened it.

"An empty fish tank? How... Thoughtful..."

"It's not empty!" Sora pouted, "Look!"

A black kitten strolled into the centre of the tank. Immediately, Suigetsu  
opened it up, and brought out the cat, a name tag saying 'Tabbie' wrapped around its neck, "What were you thinking?"

"Now Sas..." he grinned, ignoring Suigetsu's statement, "I bought you two  
pressies!"

Firstly he rummaged around in one of his many bags, withdrawing a blue  
way finder. He himself held an orange one. In the centre of the blue one was a tiny model of Sora's Keyblade. In the centre of the orange, a minute replica of the Uchiha symbol.

"This is a way finder. It's made from shells that can be found on my home  
island. They're shaped like Papua fruit. If you eat a Papua fruit with someone,  
it binds your hearts for eternity. They say that if you give your friend a  
way finder, and keep one for yourself, you'll always be able to find each other - no matter what," Sora tied it around Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke smiled slightly, and tied the orange one around Sora's.

"And for your other present..." Sora withdrew a Barbie pink t-shirt from his bag.

Sasuke glared at him for exactly 19.2 seconds, before grabbing it, and forcing  
it over Sora's head, "I think it would look better on you."

"He didn't kill him?" Suigetsu was stunned.

Sora pulled it on properly, and laughed, "If you think so. Love you!"

Sasuke raised a single eyebrow.

Someone in a black coat appeared.

"The Organisation?" Sora summoned his Keyblade.

The figure pulled his hood down, to reveal Zexion, "It is time."

The Nobody simply opened a dark corridor and entered. Without a moment's  
hesitation, Sora and Team Taka followed him through...

Data Report no. 1 - Day 7

We've been here for a week now. We have discovered the following - food is not required for us 'Datas', as Bethany refers to us collectively, to survive.

The customs on this world are most peculiar. Recently, Bethany has asked us to avoid her.

We often see her walking around the house, in search of scraps of  
white paper. She then puts them up to her nose, blows, folds them, repeats and puts them in the bin.

We also hear many sounds like she is choking - I believe it is called coughing - and ones that sound like 'a-tish' - called sneezing.  
She said that we may return to her presence once she has stopped doing so.

We have also been witnesses to her squiblets, as she refers to the young male and female who inhabit the house. They are certainly violent - I have seen bugs be gentler whilst attempting to rip you apart.

That is all for today,

D. Riku

Bethany thumped her head on the desk. The film yesterday had been of a very  
high standard (although she personally preferred Source Code over Harry Potter).  
Pity she had gotten through an entire box of tissues, and had a three minute coughing fit at the restaurant, which was then continued in the bathrooms.

Add that to the fact it was her last day of peace before the squiblets are on summer break, and she was ready to sleep for six weeks... Or at least she got rid of the cold, invested in some more insect repellent AND the pollen index  
dropped... But then she'd miss her birthday... On second thoughts, she was just going to put up with it.

Sighing, she listened to the washing machine clock over, and decided that she really did need to tidy up... Sometime... When she wasn't coughing until her throat ripped up...

She started coughing again. A few minutes later, she stopped, groaning, and  
bent over...

Xion, Namine, Repliku, Naruto and Sakura stood at the base of the clock  
tower.

"Wait... Where's Sai?" Namine asked.

"Not here?" Naruto replied.

"Idiot," Sakura cuffed his ear, "He's still up there." She wafted her hand in the general direction of the clock-tower.

"I'll go find him," Namine whispered, slipping away from the group, "Wait for us." 

Namine walked around the corner of the clock-tower, to see Sai still sitting, and reading a book.

"What are you reading?" she asked, quietly.

Sai stood up and turned to her, still holding his book, "It is a study of  
emotions."

Namine furrowed her eyebrows, and walked over to him, "Which emotion are you studying."

Sai fake smiled, "Having completed the chapters on joy and happiness, I am  
now studying love.""

Namine, uncharacteristically, ripped the book from his hands, before wrapping her arms around his neck, and pulling him into a kiss.

Once she had pulled away, Sai looked somewhere near to confusion, "I do not  
understand."

"I... That was a thank you..." Namine blushed, looking at the floor, "For  
saving me."

Sai looked to his discarded book, "Naruto hit me when I attempted to do that to him."

*a few minutes later*

Sai and Namine appeared out of the door at the base of the clock tower. The two were lightly holding hands.

The Replica Riku glared at Sai with evident distaste.

They heard the sound of a dark portal open behind them.

"Good evening," a figure in a black coat spoke, "Your presence is requested in the Grey Area, 14. Bring you acquaintances."

"What?" Sakura gaped at the figure.

The figure slapped her, "Not what, pardon. Now follow." He stepped into the  
portal, before closing it behind him.

Xion formed a portal to their right.

"Xion," Repliku said.

"Let's be off," she murmured, "It must be important, if Zexion is doing the  
grunt work."

Silently, the group entered the portal...

"Ha ha! Take that Ron!" Charley squealed destroying every item in his house and making his head swell up. She was playing the Harry Potter Lego video game and quite frankly conquering it!

"Aha ha ha ha! He looks like Orochimaru in a turban!"  
After sitting up til 5 about 3 nights in a row she was getting kind of bored and was in the mood to destroy something, namely Ron's house. Oh and Voldemort.

After kicking his ass and reaching the chamber of secrets level she was quite cheerfully destroying all those in her way and screaming every time a gargoyle or a mushroom attacked her.

Until the Tom Riddle level.

"Ok so I need to find Aragog now where is he..."

After spending half an hour searching she gave up deeming it hopeless and started to whack her head against the wall. She had been banned from the Harry Potter universe because she had attacked Malfoy and defeated him by beating him up calling him a `pussy`, and successfully destroyed most of Ron's home on the basis `it was fun.`

_**Note: The author has nothing against Harry Potter and would like you to remember she is psychologically challenged most days being a psychotic weirdo...**_

"Well that was one hell of a massacre." Kisame sighed.

Deidara sat down depressed and was suddenly a whole lot more depressed when he found that Tobi was still alive.

"How the hell are you still here, un?" He yelled at the slightly singed orange masked fellow.

"Tobi's lucky!"

He sighed and Kisame patted his shoulder.

Zetsu muttered to himself about wanting to eat the bodies but unfortunately for him they had all vanished when everyone had looked away.

"Do we still classify them as dead?"

"Yep."

Itachi started eating his emergency dango supplies prompting Deidara to steal some only to have Tobi squeal on him for doing so.

Everyone was beginning to get fed up with each other.

Axel, Roxas and Demyx were in one corner while Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, Zetsu and Tobi were in the other each eyeing each other nervously while at the same time muttering to each other. There was some serious cabin fever going down.

"Where is the guy with the purple hair?" asked Itachi breaking the silence between the two groups.

No one seemed to know where Zexion was and Ni and Nizoxe were hiding somewhere being very secretive and as they kept the general order it was very worrying.

Right when chaos seemed about to break Zexion appeared with Sasuke, Karin, Sora, Suigetsu, Jugo, Sakura, Naruto, Sai, Namine, Xion and Repliku in tow.

But still Chaos broke through...

"Hey that's that jinchuriki, un!"

Deidara made a clay bird appear neglecting to realise that there was a ceiling and causing it to break open with the force. (No not star wars force.)

Itachi went to turn on his mangekyo sharingan but Kisame got up and made him stay seated wanting his partner not to waste his remaining vision on this trivial task.

He yanked the bandages off of Samehada and got ready to fight.

"Hey that's Sora!" Marluxia yelled and went to jump up but Axel simply grabbed his shoulder while smiling brightly and shoved his back down.

"We're not participating in this fight, got it memorised?"

Marluxia nodded like he was agreeing but when Axel turned his head he leapt up into the fight.

Deidara started chasing Naruto around the castle that never was while Sakura got pissed and began chasing him, Tobi started chasing her yelling at her to "Leave my sempai alone!" while Kisame chased all of them. Marluxia started to run after Sora but Sasuke jumped in the way and pulled out his kusanagi. Itachi pinched the bridge of his nose in a sort of Uchiha face palm while Zetsu fought with himself about whether or not to join in.

"ENOUGH!" Screamed Nizoxe, Ni and Itachi together all equally pissed off.

Itachi had a bitter migraine, Nizoxe was fed up and Ni just loved yelling at people.

Deidara stopped and his bird hit a wall and he fell off hitting his head on the floor and falling unconscious while Naruto nearly fell off a ledge and Sakura pulled him back just in time. Tobi actually fell off and reappeared seconds later laughing. Kisame went to smack Marluxia over the head with Samehada but froze when he heard their voices. Sasuke put away his sword calmly and Sora leapt into his arms and Sasuke held him bridal style much to his delight.

Ni walked over to Deidara and looked at him for a few seconds before smiling and picking him up in a fireman's lift and walking upstairs with him. Everyone stared for a minute then started laughing very fake laughs for exactly ten seconds before they all started yelling at each other and making random threats. Itachi went upstairs too to rescue Deidara from his fate while Nizoxe attempted to calm everyone down... and failed...

In anime heaven a large queue was forming. Though it was more like a waiting room as a lot more stuff had appeared with each death. There were now squishy red chairs, a Nintendo wii, an electric guitar and various other stuff.

"I wonder where this goes to." Sasori thought as he looks out the dumb waiter which had appeared. Everyone was ignoring him and was so noisy so he climbed in (being fairly small) and pressed the button. He reached the top and looked through to see countless Naruto characters chilling out.

There was a karaoke contest with the 4th hokage vs. the other three and some others dancing at the side including his grandma much to his distaste.

Deciding he didn't want to see much more he went back down and fortunately no one had noticed he was gone as they were too busy wrapped in their own exhaustion.

Deidara woke up to see Ni's face in front of his own. He was about to scream when Itachi yanked her off of him and like a cat she ran out the door hissing.

"She's part fangirl." Itachi explained.

"Why are you helping me?" Deidara asked, though secretly relieved, his long time rival.

"No one deserves that fate." Itachi murmured.

The two found themselves gazing at each other for a minute. Deidara felt grateful but wasn't sure how to say it and something else he couldn't quite place while Itachi felt hungry and wondered if the blonde would say thank you.

"Thanks I guess." Deidara muttered.

"No problem." The Uchiha replied and left to each more dango while Deidara realised his emotions were taking over. No way could he ever love an Uchiha.

Meanwhile Kisame felt very protective of Itachi for some reason he couldn't explain and went to go find him.

Meanwhile in the tool shed... (Lol)

The crazy crack filled writer sat over her laptop with a dark grin. Ah, ItaDei, her favourite pairing...

Tayuya leaned over the screen. "What are you writing?"

"Nothing..."

Kabuto silently opened the door a crack and waved for them to be silent. He closed the door quietly and they all hushed when a shadow passed under the door...

TO BE CONTINUED? Well, duh.


	9. Chapter 9

A.N. 

Froggie: Hey, I'm back with a new laptop! And a new chapter! Peace out!  
C.B: *Charley is not in at the moment, so, please leave a message with the Sound four, after Kabuto tries to use you as a test subject. Goodbye!*  
Froggie's disclaimer: Turn around and go away if you don't know we don't own this!  
C.B's disclaimer: Yeah! You should be ashamed if you don't know we don't own this!

Chapter 9 – Sora, Sora, Sora, Sora and Roxas! (Oh, and Ven) The checklist of doom!

Nizoxe assembled everyone in at the Alter of Naught. Xion gazed at Kingdom Hearts, as she cleared her throat. Ni had threatened to fangirl anyone male or female) who did not behave – a fate worse than death.  
Nizoxe pulled out a sheet of paper, and crossed off the names of everyone who had died in the previous chapter's antics.  
"So remaining we have Tele-guy, book-child, Music-man, blondey, red, Raven, Fishy, explosive-art-freak, plant-guy, fangirl, keeper-of-death, pinkey, guy-in-girl's-t-shirt, silver, Shortey, memories, freak, idiot, crazy-emo, tall-male, water-dude, Tabbie and birdey," Ni looked over her shoulder.  
"What?" Sora asked.  
"Tobi, Zexion, Demyx, Roxas, Axel, Itachi, Kisame, Marluxia, Deidara, Zetsu, Ni, myself, Sakura, Sai, Repliku, Xion, Namine, Naruto, Sora, Sasuke, Jugo, Karin, Suigetsu, The cat, The bird…" Nizoxe sighed.  
"Why are you the keeper of death?"  
"Because Ni's an idiot."  
"I'm not an idiot – the rest of the world's too clever!"  
Everyone turned to face her.

Charley's bit

***Reading authors note*  
Wow I sound a bit like Hidan sometimes, Meh...**  
Orochimaru grinned as he approached the door, he'd finally figured out the chakra code into Charley's room and as he turned the handle he chuckled to himself. He was about to open the door until he heard a loud, "Ampharos, use thunder wave!"  
He suddenly found himself unable to move. Charley kicked the door down and kicked him into the wall of the next room.  
"AND STAY OUT!"  
He froze for a moment then straightened himself up.  
"But Charley I have candy for you!"  
"I'm not falling for that one again!"  
"Yeah you go girl!" Tayuya cheered from the background where the sound four where racing on her retro Sega TM game. It was cut off by a glare from Orochimaru.  
"But Charley, if you join me you get a cool uniform! You get to be a Naruto character just like you've always wanted!"  
Charley smiled. "Orochimaru, I've been a Naruto fan for three years now and if I've learned one thing it's stay the hell away from you."  
"I could give you power..."  
"If it's to become a moody emo kid like Sasuke I'll pass. Though you could let me keep Kabuto."  
Kabuto choked a few metres away.  
"No, I'd like to keep him around. You're making a horrible mistake. You should join me and meet the akatsuki."  
"Dude, I know the akatsuki. You're not in their good books."  
Charley turned to the side. "See this is what Sasuke should have done."  
"OH YEAH!" Tayuya gained the extended play.  
"What a pity Charlotte, I'm so disappointed you won't join." He smiled extending his neck intending to bite her and give her a curse mark and increasing the drama of the action music.  
Charley began to shake. "My name is..."  
Just as he was about to bite her she exploded with power not unlike Dragonball Z and sent Orochimaru's head flying back to his body.  
"CHARLEY!" She screamed and flew forward with extreme speed.  
"I'm sorry!" Orochimaru yelled covering his face.  
He looked up surprised to see she had stopped and was smiling. "Ok then."  
"You're just gonna... let it go?"  
"Mhm..."  
"What a terrible mistake..."  
His hand latched around her neck and lifted her up off the ground...

The Death of Sakura

Sasuke has taken a moment to himself, and was standing in the remains of the Garden of Unknown Despair… (Froggie: Wooo!) He was looking out over the abyss which signalled the edge of the universe.  
Unknown to him, Sakura had stolen some GPS tracking labels from Vexen's room, attached them to his sword and was now hiding behind a tree, planning her next move...  
"So I could… No… Um… Oh, what the hell!" she jumped out from behind the tree, launching herself at the object of her desires.  
With reflexes known only to the Uchiha (and those who have since been killed by them), Sasuke dived out of the way. Sakura stopped just in time, and teetered on the edge.  
"Sasuke, help!" she screamed.  
Sasuke glared at her for exactly 19.2 seconds.  
"I'm back, bitches!" Hidan laughed, before kicking her in the stomach.  
"SAAAASSUKKKE!" she screamed, as that Which Never Was ripped her soul and body to pieces.  
Sasuke glared at Hidan.  
"Blame the crappy plot," he disappeared back to Anime Heaven.  
"Did I just see Hidan?" Kisame wandered outside.  
"Hm."  
"Let me guess, SOMEbody screwed up the plot again?"  
"Hm."  
"Later, Sasuke!" Kisame walked back inside.  
"Hm… What?"

Bethany's bit

"We should make a Sasuke sim, so that we can punch him!"  
"You can only fight if they're adult's," Bethany explained.  
"Sasuke could be an adult...!"she realised the irony in her statement, "And we could make Madara too!"  
"Don't have a mask… D-dots!"  
"Huh?" Data Riku and Sora asked in sync.  
"… There's soup in the kitchen!" Bethany smiled, as they ran back downstairs.

And back in Anime Heaven…

Sasori had returned to the main room. Vexen and Marluxia were trying to kill each other (oh, the irony), and everyone else was joining in…  
"…" Sasori resumed his favourite pursuit of puppet making at the carpentry bench supplied by the death of Lexeaus.

Charley's bit X2

"Give up girl, you cannot win."  
"You think just `cause I'm a girl I can't win?"  
"Exactly..."  
Charley smirked. "You idiot, I'll kick your ass for that."  
"Oh really? How do you intend to do that when you're so short I'm lifting you off the ground?"  
Charley snapped. "THAT'S IT!"  
Her skin started smouldering causing Orochimaru to drop her on the floor.  
"I'M SICK OF BEING SHORT! LOTS OF COOL PEOPLE ARE SHORT, LIKE EDWARD ELRIC AND YUGI MOTO!"  
Fire was shooting out from everywhere and it quickly subsided.  
"I don't wanna destroy my house... heh heh..."  
She quickly became cool again. "Now I'm gonna kick yo ass! Watch this!"  
She did a doppelganger jutsu causing many clones to appear and smirk.  
"How can you do that?"  
"Practise, my dear Orochimaru, practise."  
And so began the epic fight of Orochimaru vs. Charley...

The attack of the many Sora

(Sora, Sora, Anti0Sora, Data Sora, Roxas, Ventus)

Sasuke re-entered the building. Sora was no-where in sight, and nobody had seen him recently…  
"SORA!" Sasuke shouted.  
The brunette appeared in front of him, before getting glomped by the Uchiha, "I thought that crazy bastard had killed you!"  
"Which one?" Sora hugged him back.  
"Er… All of them!"  
"Even the girls?"  
"Especially the girls."  
"Wait… Who are you?"  
"You… Don't remember?"  
"Last thing I remember, I was hanging out in some mostly-crazy girl's understairs cupboard, and then you shouted, so I got glitched over here!"  
"You're… Where's SORA!" Sasuke pulled out his sword.  
"I am… Oh, you want the REAL Sora. I'm his computer generated copy from Mickey's computer, who got teleported into some girl's bedroom, then shoved in her cupboard, then teleported here!"  
Sasuke glared at him for exactly 19.3 seconds, "Where. Is. Sora."  
"What do you want!" Sora shouted. Except, he wasn't Sora… Well, he was, but he was wearing what looked like a white, cotton dressing gown, had black hair, had his right arm wrapped in bandages and was holding some spikes in his left one.  
"Why do you seem so familiar?" Sasuke glared at him for exactly 19.5 seconds.  
"I don't know – I don't even know who you are, but I sure don't like you!" he raised his left hand slightly.  
It was then that Naruto entered the bathroom, seeing as that was where the action was currently happening.  
"Oh, hi Sora! That's Sasuke – Say hi!"  
"Like I care, see you around, Naru-"  
In a bright flash of light, Sora (Naruto) was cut off, as a black version of Sora (KH) appeared in front of him.  
"So, what are you?"  
"DUCK!" D. Sora shouted, casting Aero, "He's an Anti-Sora!"  
D. Sora and Anti-Sora were fighting, when Roxas walked into the room… Or so they thought.  
"Hey, Roxas!"  
"Who's Roxas? I'm Ven, pleased to meet you and so on, and have you seen Terra? He's a tall guy dressed sorta like me."  
"Wh-"  
Another bright flash of light, and Roxas appeared.  
"Enough with the bright flashes of light, already!" Sasuke screamed.

Meanwhile:  
Suigetsu and Jugo were sitting in the shower-basin, watching through the one-way mirrors that worked as a curtain. Suigetsu turned to Jugo, "It sure is fun playing with his head."  
"Indeed it is…"

Back to reality (Hah!):  
Nizoxe walked into the bathroom, and glared at all of them, "Out."  
The two in the shower were teleported away, but the others had to walk. Or fight out, in D. and Anti's cases.  
As they heard the shower switch on, another Sora ran up behind him.  
Sasuke turned to him, "Are you actually Sora, or are you another crazy, demon possessed or non-existent version of yourself?"  
The latest Sora blinked in confusion.  
"Sora! I've missed you so much! I thought the crazy bastards had killed you again!" Sasuke latched onto him.  
Sora immediately hugged him back, "Hi Sasuke! I was just fixing my hair!"  
Sasuke looked at him, "You mean that's actually styled."  
"Yeah!" Sora beamed, kissing him, "Why would you think otherwise?"  
"Ewww! Gross!" D. Sora cringed, "I'm gay for a jerk?"  
Even the anti-Sora looked surprised. Which, considering that he doesn't have facial expressions, is very impressive.  
"Who are you calling a jerk!" Sora (KH real) shouted, "He's my boyfriend, best friend and has a very messy past involving his favourite brother wiping his family off the face of the planet!"  
"Thanks for reminding me," Sasuke groaned.  
"You're welcome!"  
"That was-… Never mind."  
Roxas looked at him, "You can SHOUT!"  
"Wow, slow Roxy, slow." Axel appeared.  
"My NAME is ROXAS!" Roxas summoned his keyblade, and attacked the offending red-head.  
"Sheesh – Ice-cream time!"  
"WHERE!" Roxas shouted, literally jumping up and down.  
"And I thought he was the sane one…" Ni mumbled, before shouting, "Now you two kiss so I can sell your photo to even crazier fangirls on Gumtree!"  
"Don't you mean eBay?"  
"Nope – Gumtree – like eBay, but local! Ting!" Ni grinned, before taking multiple photos of the surrounding people.  
Nizoxe stepped out of the bathroom – going THROUGH the door, dressed in a black t-shirt, grey mini-shirt and (you guessed it) bright green stockings. She was drying her hair with a pink Wimbledon towel "We do not seek to advertise products by any means. Neither do we seek to offend."  
"But on occasion they do, so shut the hell up!" a voice shouted.  
"Hidan? Haven't we killed you twice already?"  
"Ye- Wait, you were doing that, you bitches?"  
"Of course. Nagato shall explain it to you later. But until then…" Nizoxe clicked her fingers, "Get lost."  
Hidan was sucked into a swirling vortex.  
"You do realise he's immortal, right?" Ni 'helpfully' pointed out.  
"Go die in a hole." Nizoxe walked off, "Oh, and Soras go home."  
All Sora's except for Sasuke's boyfriend disappeared.  
"And Ven – too early. Go get lost until the sequel. And preferably finish your own storyline."  
He disappeared too.  
"Good," she turned to the others, "Please make your way to the Room Where Nothing Gathers, where we will be casting votes to randomly, and truly randomly, massacre you. Good day."  
"I don't want to die!" Roxas cried.  
Axel patted his head, "We die, we get ice cream."  
"YAY!"

Bethany's bit part 2

Debug report 2:  
The girl – Bethany – seems very happy about something called her 'results'. I mean, what are they?  
I also appeared in another world for a little bit, for an unknown reason… There was a black haired guy who thought I was his boyfriend… EW!  
Anyway – See you later!  
D. Sora

The Meeting of DOOOOOOOM! (And yes, the author's high on salt – don't tell the police!)

Ni looked up, "Oooh! We have sub-titles now! We've gone upmarket!"  
Nizoxe slapped her, "Go fangirl on Sora and Sasuke, seeing as they're except from the following activities."  
"YAY!" Ni chased them into a bedroom… O.o  
"So… Chelsea and Reizo, go… Do whatever freaky-genetically-modified-idiot-quoting-insane-Heartless-Nobody-crosses-and-dead-bodies do in their free time," Nizoxe didn't even breathe whilst she said it.  
They blinked at her, before running off – hand in hand.  
"Good. Now, everyone else…" she smiled dangerously, "Itachi, Kisame, Sai, Namine and boy get out of my meeting!"  
"Girl." Zexion rolled his eyes as he left.  
"Fine, I didn't want to be here, anyway!" Kisame dragged Itachi from the room.  
Sai and Namine left quietly. The door slammed shut.  
"As my brother knows, the only way to survive is to leave the room by the time the clock strikes thirteen. All forms of teleportation have been disabled, including, but not limited to, Tobi's powers and the forming of dark corridors. If you attempt such matter, you will be sent straight to hell. You have 2 minutes before your existence is terminated. Please enjoy your last moments with those you love. Have a nice day, now," Nizoxe smiled, as she spoke in a psychotically sweet voice, before vanishing in a puff of smoke.  
"Wait, if she can teleport, we can to!"  
"Maybe she went to hell?"  
"I bet she LIVES in hell!"  
"Or we can teleport…"  
"Tobi's scared!"  
"Don't be scared, Tobi. All of the important characters have gone."  
"WAAAHHH!" Tobi wailed, as he accidently teleported. He was engulfed in red flames, and dragged away by fiery arms.  
"Tobi – NO!"

*30 seconds later*

Deidara was huddled into himself, muttering about 'fish fries', 'that dam Uchiha', 'Tobi' and 'dango'. Oh, and bang. He was also shaking, but would never admit it if you asked him… Not that you'd ask him if you valued your continued existence.  
Axel and Roxas were once again creating origami behind one of the chairs… Or maybe not. You decide. (I choose the former, C.B says the latter).  
Xion was humming 'The Other Promise' to herself, her eyes tearing up.  
The Replica was running around the room, trying to find a door. Which there wasn't.  
Demyx had summoned his sitar. His dancers surrounded him, dancing around the room in ballroom fashion.  
Jugo was teaching his bird to sing, whilst Suigetsu was playing with 'Tabbie' – the black cat.  
Zetsu eyed Naruto hungrily.

*30 seconds later*

Deidara was still huddled up and mumbling.  
Axel and Roxas were still creating origami.  
Xion was still humming.  
The Replica was still desperately trying to escape.  
Demyx was now crying – his dancers trying to work out how best to comfort him.  
Judo was still singing, and Suigetsu still playing.  
"Don't you dare!" Naruto shouted, as Zetsu stepped towards him.

*45 more seconds later*

The Replica had given up, and was sitting next to Xion, humming along with her. Both had their knees pulled up, and were staring straight ahead.  
Deidara was now crying, still huddled up and shaking. Between the sobs, you could barely make out the words; 'I wanted to die in a blast… On my own terms!'  
Jugo's bird was singing to him, as he watched Suigetsu play with Tabbie.  
Demyx's dancers had been un-summoned, and he was trying to cry himself to sleep.  
Axel and Roxas continued to make origami.  
"I'm not going to die, and nobody else is either! I'm going to be the Hokage, whether you stupid baka kills me or not!" Naruto screamed to the heavens.

*14 seconds after that*  
Suigetsu turned to Jugo, cat in his arms, "Well, it's been fun. See you in hell."  
Jugo nodded, bird perched on his shoulder.  
Axel and Roxas gazed into each other's eyes, pausing only slightly in their origami. (C.B says *wink wink*).  
White Zetsu began to cry, and black Zetsu patted him on the back…  
"I refuse to die!" Naruto yelled at the wall.  
The Replica rapped his arm around Xion, as they continued to gaze out of the window…  
Demyx ran over to Deidara, and hugged him. Deidara head butted him in the neck. Demyx wasn't fazed, and there wasn't enough time to do anything else…

*1:00 pm – one second later still*  
the clock began to chime…  
One – Deidara slapped Demyx in the face, although it turned into a licking.  
Two – A ball of darkness came up from the emblem in the centre of the room, and began to grow…  
Three – Zetsu closed his plant-trap, as his flesh was devoured by the dark.  
Four – Demyx whispered 'sorry' as he bashed Deidara around the head – hard enough to knock him out.  
Five – The darkness continued to grow…  
Six – Naruto screamed as the black came and sucked away both his soul and sanity…  
Seven – A cloud passed over the Heart-shaped moon.  
Eight – Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas protectively, as they were both submerged by the ever-growing mass of black.  
Nine – Suigetsu gave Jugo the thumbs up, as he was dragged into the abyss with his cat.  
Ten – Jugo nodded again, as his bird flew down the sewage pipe, and he was engulfed in darkness.  
Eleven – Demyx danced all the way to his death, dancers following him close behind.  
Twelve – "I love you," Xion sobbed, as she was pulled away from the Replica.  
Thirteen – "I know," he reached for her, as they were both sucked away.  
And the black swirl closed behind them…


	10. Chapter 10

Froggie's A.N.: Hi, bye, busy, busy, busy!  
C.B's A.N.: HETALIA!  
Froggie's disclaimer: You've got the idea. :) ^.^ (:  
C.B's disclaimer: /^_\ ) Deidara smilies are fun! (Froggie: and the technical term is an emoticon)

Chapter 10 – The Beginning of the end (of the movie)

Karin was hiding in one of the many rooms of the castle that never was. After last chapter's massacre it seemed safer to stay low for a while and not draw any attention to her.

As far as she was aware Sasuke, Sora, Sasuke's brother, the shark guy, the guy with the sorta blue hair, Ni, Nizoxe, the smiley guy, the blonde girl and the two who kept quoting where still alive. Apparently the blonde bomber was still alive too somehow. He had alerted them to what happened.

Also she realised the guy with the pink hair was missing too and it appeared he died off-screen last chapter (and appeared in anime heaven). She felt bad about Suigetsu but brushed it aside.

She silently counted to three and rushed to a new hiding spot when she heard footsteps. Ni walked past the room and paused for a moment before entering and slowly looking around then squealing happily and picking up a doujinshi manga from the shelf.

"There you are! I was looking for you!"

Karin upon hearing this thought she was found and stood up with her hands held up in defeat.

"Please don't kill me! I still have to kiss Sasuke! Please let me go!"

Ni shot around and smiled, "I'm very sorry, but that can't be arranged. See you later, Karin... " She giggled as she left the room, clutching the manga to her chest, "It should be the last time we meet..."

Other survivors

Namine and Sai were hiding with Itachi, Kisame and Zexion. Sasuke, Sora, Deidara, Reizo and Chelsea were nowhere to be seen.

Sai had his arm around Namine's back and Itachi and Kisame were hunched up on the floor neither happy about it. Zexion was keeping watch for Nizoxe and Ni. They seemed to know what was going on, but they hadn't mentioned anything to them. Because they were around at the time of the 'disappearances' they were deemed responsible. Although Zexion had an idea...

Meanwhile Sasuke and Sora were making out in one of the rooms hoping their fanservice would delay their inevitable demise. Deidara was hiding until it all blew over (lol)...

Reizo and Chelsea had left for anime heaven already after explaining with a few quotes, and the promise to meet again later.

From where Sai was he could hear a scraping coming from the other side of the wall. He ducked down with Namine and they tried not to be noticed.

Charley's Part

The fight was well in progress, Orochimaru summoned snakes and Charley squealed and threw things at them.

"This'll work!" She grinned and produced a chidori from one hand and rasengan from the other.

"How are you able to do that?"

"Fangirls can do anything. Especially in fan fiction."

She pushed both into his chest making him fly up through the ceiling and into the distance team rocket style.

The sound four began cheering and Kabuto fixed his glasses smiling. "Woo hoo!"

She spun round and hugged Kabuto so tightly he couldn't breathe.

"And that's the end of that chapter!"

"Well not yet anyway."

Bethany's Part

*Bethany is currently too swamped by work to grace you with her presence. She hopes you enjoy the chapter*

*P.S. If you see her glasses anywhere, please forward them to Charley. Thanks!*

Massacre Time

Nizoxe sighed, analyzing her knives. Ni walked in.

"Hey, Niz!"

Nizoxe sighed again.

"You okay?"

"I'll survive."

"That's not what I asked."

"Hum."

Ni rolled her eyes, "You're worrying about this, aren't you?"

"You're not the one who has to murder their brother!"

Ni frowned, "But you're a rock."

"Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome."

Nizoxe took a deep breath, "Well, one must do what one must."

"That's the spirit!" Ni shouted, "Let's go!"

The two took the short walk to the room in which everyone was waiting. They knocked on the door. Zexion opened it.

"You're here to kill us, aren't you?"

Nizoxe nodded sadly, "Please don't resist. We're already going mad over it."

"I have no emotions," Zexion shrugged, "I couldn't care less. Literally."

Nizoxe nodded, placing her hand on his shoulder. Her eyes flickered as she forced Zexion to the floor, a black aura flowing around her hand. As his eyes flicked shut, she squeezed his hand, "Sorry, brother... I'm sure you understand."

He faded away.

Ni grinned, "So, who's next?"

Nizoxe straightened up, "You take Sora and Sasuke and Itachi and Kisame. I'll take Sai and Namine, and Karin."

"You sure?" Ni asked.

Nizoxe turned to her, smiling, "No, but let's do it."

Ni knocked on the door behind which Sora and Sasuke were kissing, "Hey, guys? Can i come in?"

"Oh shit, it's her! Quick, keep making out!"

"No, run!"

Ni opened the door, only to see Sora fall out of the window, and Sasuke jumping out after him. Literally. She watched with morbid fascination...

"Sora!" Sasuke shouted, as they fell.

"Sasuke!" Sora screamed, over the roaring wind.

"I love you!" the Uchiha wrapped his arms around the other.

Sora started to cry, "I love you too..."

The two crashed into the ground.

Sora raised his head from Sasuke's chest, "That wasn't so bad... Sasuke?"

"Sasuke?" Sora's face fell when there was still no response.

"Sas-?" it was then that the body disappeared, "No," Sora began to cry, "Sasuke!"

Ni appeared behind him, "Would you like to go with him?"

Sora looked at her.

Ni reached forward, wrapping her hands around his neck. Sora never struggled, but, as the last of his life ebbed away, whispered, "Love you, Sasuke."

Ni shrugged, "Well, that was easy."

Karin turned around to see Nizoxe in the doorway, "What do you want?"

"Sasuke's dead."

"What?"

"I want a new friend... Sasuke's dead."

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Everything. Sasuke's dead."

"I've got the idea, you freak!"

"Sasuke's dead."

"What do you want?"

"I want a friend. Sasuke's dead."

"Stop saying that! You're lying!"

"_Sasuke!"_Sora's scream could be heard all world over.

"Wha-?"

"Sasuke's dead. You must die. I want a friend."

"Okay... What?"

Nizoxe threw a knife at her, sinking it deep into her throat, "I want a friend... But everyone. Must. Die."

Sai and Namine were hiding next door. Nizoxe stepped in.

"Oh, hi Nizoxe."

"Please. Don't be nice to me."

"What?"

She locked the door, and the windows, "I have to kill you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes I do. Otherwise... Please. You have to die."

Sai looked slightly confused, but stepped in front of Namine.

Nizoxe frowned, "I'm sorry." She took another knife from her bag, "I have to kill you both..."

"You can't kill her!" he turned to Namine, "I love you, I think..."

"I know you do," Namine kissed the back of his head, "And, we can spend eternity together, Sai. And no-one will be able to separate us."

"I don't want you to die."

"I have to, Sai... I don't want to; I want a friend. But if I don't, He..." she struck them both down with one flick of her wrist. She turned, and walked out of the room.

"... He will come."

"I sense a disturbance in the Force."

"Itachi." Kisame didn't even bother frowning.

"Apologies."

"Who are you, and where is Itachi?"

"Hum."

"Hum? You say Hn."

Itachi walked out of the bathroom.

"Ok, you're defiantly not Itachi."

"No – that's because we're shadow clones. Itachi's downstairs in the kitchen."

"What's he doing in the kitchen?"

"Making Origami!"

"What?"

"Just kidding. He's cooking."

"That's even less believable..."

"Okay, maybe Sasuke was just murdered by Ni, and he was watching that... By the way, your sword has been acquired for research purposes... Please speak to Kabuto if you have any problems with the above."

"It's Ni, isn't it?"

"Nope – I'm one of Ni's shadow clones, cosplaying as Itachi. So's she. The REAL Itachi is probably somewhere being depressed, so you might want to go see him... And anyway, THEY want to see you."

Kisame left to find his partner – solely on the grounds that he was amazingly good at getting lost. Nothing else.

Ni was waiting for him in the garden. She had Itachi pushed up against a wall, and was choking him.

Kisame blinked, and Ni dropped Itachi. He sat down in a much more dignified manner than would be expected, considering that he was half-dead and half-blind... Well, he already was so 76.98728462935292354% dead...

"Hey Kisame... If you want to live, you'll go over there and make out with Itachi."

"What the hell?"

"So I can flog the photos for cash, not to mention the videos. I need cash. If you don't I'll kill both of you."

"You'll do that anyway."

"No I won't. You're too profitable."

Hesitantly, Kisame walked over to Itachi, "I think I would rather die."

"Hn."

"Oh, what the hell." Kisame kissed Itachi.

"Ahhh..." Ni started dancing around, when Itachi fell to the floor, a knife in his back.

"What the hell was that for?" Kisame shouted.

"Ni." Nizoxe hissed, as she stabbed Kisame in the back, "You know we can't."

"But Niz..."

"I'm sorry, okay?"

"Well, at least we have proof."

Nizoxe shook her head, "You're even more screwed up than me."

"Hell yeah!"

Deidara sat on the floor in the meeting room, "Why do I get the feeling that everyone's dead but me?"

He stood up, and walked off.

Anime Heaven

"Woah! This place is BUSY!" shouted Sora, looking around, "Hey! Hi Axel!"

"Hey."

"You're dead!"

"Everyone here is."

"EVERYONE is." Sora looked around, "SASUKE!"

"SORA!" the two glomped each other.

"Hey, Roxy..."

"ROXAS!" the blonde shouted.

"Oh, hell. They're fighting again..." Hidan groaned, "And I'm fucking dead again!"

"Isn't that all that happens here?" Kakuzu was filing his nails.

"And Pein thrashes everyone on Mario Cart." Hidan looked at Kakuzu, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Filing my nails. Everything else is electronic, and do you KNOW HOW MUCH ELECTRICTY COSTS?"

Pizza shop!

"Is it me, or do you get a sudden sense of impending doom?"

"I wouldn't worry about it... We have pizza, and Bethany's debit card! And pin!"

"Did she lend it to you?"

"We may have acquired it by less than legal means... Accidently, of course."

"Well, I say eat pizza. She should be more careful."

The sound four, Kabuto, D. Sora and D. Riku all went inside of the pizza shop. D. Sora hesitated a moment, "Guys... What's pizza? And I feel like we've forgotten something..."

"Your brain?"

"Hum... Maybe that was it. Thanks! I'll go look for it when we get home. It's probably in the on the floor somewhere."

"..."

"Do you even know what a brain is?"

"Nope! Do you get it on pizza? I want it on my pizza!"

Don't look now!

Bethany and Charley sat on Charley's bed. Everyone else was out, getting pizza... Or something. Bethany did wonder if this was safe, but decided that if they died or got arrested, they couldn't actually be traced to her, so... And where was her card?

There was a knock at the door.

Despite it being Charley's house, Bethany went to the door.

She returned with a block of paper and a serious look on her face.

"Ooh! What is it? What is it? Is it something cool? It is a message from..."

"Yes."

"Yay! I wish he'd stay to hug me... I like hugs..."

"He is not permitted to hug," Bethany passed Charley some of the papers, "And we must do our duty."

"What is our duty?"

Bethany laughed dryly, "You don't remember...? Anyway, we have a new mission."

"What is it?"

"In my language or Charley language?"

"Either's fine!"

"We are required to attend a meeting in the nineteenth dimension of reverse polarity, and bring with us our associates."

"Err... Charley language?"

Bethany smirked, "We're going to have one hell of a party."

"Yeah!"

The End?

Deidara sat at the Alter of Naught, contemplating his existence, "Everyone's dead... No authority... No Itachi to annoy... PARTY!"

"Unfortunately, we cannot permit such an event."  
"WAAAHHHHHHH!" Deidara turned to see Niz standing in the doorframe, looking at him, "What the hell are you doing here, un?"

Niz blinked at him, eyes wide. Ni approached from the other side, clutching Naruto volume 31, and giggling.

"You're kinda freaking me out..."

Niz tilted her head to one side, as Ni attempted to breathe through her laughing.

Deidara started to back away.

"Will you play with me?" Niz asked her voice far too innocent and child-like for comfort.

Ni continued to giggle.

"No... Who are you, and what have you done with the crazy women..."

"Pwease?"

"Oh right, Ni's been like that since I got hit by the submarine... What the hell have you done with Nizoxe? I mean, not that it's a bad thing or anything..."

"Spiele mit ich? "

Ni started screaming, "NOOO! Not German!"

"This is getting weird... I'm just gonna be leaving you girls to it..."

"Don't go... I want to pway..."

Deidara tried to get out of the door, but Nizoxe blocked his way.

"You pway mit ich," Nizoxe glared.

Ni pulled out a Deidara plushie.

"What the hell is that, un?"

"Izza plushie..." Niz explained.

"I bought it off ebay! Yeah!"

"That's a bit creepy..."

Ni kissed the plushie.

"That's really creepy..."

"And now you're going to die," Nizoxe grinned.

"Why are you trying to kill me?" the two girls stepped towards him. Nizoxe drew a knife.

"Because THEY say so."

"You're really creeping me out."

"But that's the idea..."

"I want flippy chips." Niz stopped for a moment, "Hint, hint."

"And we HAVE to kill you. If we don't kill you..."

"Bad things could happen..."

"And that could be bad."

"So, you have to die."

"Don't worry – Tobi isn't Madara... If we don't kill you, he'll send you to hell."

"SO have fun with that."

"Wait? Tobi's MADARA? Who the hell is that?" Deidara shouted.

"Madara Uchiha is the man in the coffin. Tobi Uchiha is the man behind the mask." The girls said in union, "And now, you will die to appease him."

"I don't like this."

Nizoxe raised her knife, and slit the male's throat.

The two girls waited.

"Congratulations, girls. You have finished your task." A male voice said from the door.

"Can we play now, Mr Boss, sir?"

"You have a new task."

"Do I get to see Dei again?"

The man's eyes narrowed, "New task," he passed them a block of paper, "Will involved seeing a form of 'die'."

Nizoxe frowned, taking the papers, "Hum..."

"What does it say? What does it say?"

Nizoxe frowned, and looked at the boss, nodding, "Of course, sir. At once."

She flicked her wrist, forming a dark portal below her, and dragged Ni into it...

The boss nodded, smirking, "I'll see you soon. Very soon."


	11. The Epilogue The First

Froggie's note: Hi, I'm responsible for most of this chapter, so blame me. In this, we sort out a few more plot holes, explain the title and introduce some new characters. They are from the show Hetalia, but it is not necessary to watch to understand.

C.B's note: Dudeness! Why do spell checkers never understand anime? Why am I editor when I'm the crazy one? No idea dude! I do watch way too many American shows too.

Froggie's disclaimer: Am I male? No. Am I Japanese? No. Am I rich? No. Do I own anything in this? Yes – Nizoxe, Bethany and the writing. Anything else? No. Britain/England and America, the Naruto characters and the Kingdom Hearts characters all belong to their respective owners. Peace out.

C.B's disclaimer: I don't Naruto and if I did, you'd have heard about it by now.

The Epilogue the First

"Hello, and welcome to anime heaven. If you are not anime, then we are not sure why you are here, but please enjoy your stay," an annoyingly mechanical female voice chimed.  
Deidara opened his eyes.  
"Deidara-Senpai! You're dead too!"  
Deidara shut them again.  
"Well, seeing as we are all assembled, it is time for us to begin this meeting of grave importance," Saïx frowned around the room, as everyone immediately dropped to the floor, sitting. Everyone except Hidan, of course.  
"So, how the – do we get out of this – place?" the one remaining stander shouted.  
Everyone looked to the two leaders, when Vexen spoke up, "If my calculations are correct, which they always are, then if we wait long enough things will sort themselves out."  
"That's a stupid idea."  
"No it's not. Need I remind you that I am the eldest here?"  
As the room descended into chaos, Zexion and Axel quickly made their way over to Konan and Pein. It was not long before they were joined by Vexen and Tobi.  
"Tobi wants to tell Deidara-senpai."  
Everyone looked to Pein, "Just because I run one criminal organisation does not give me the qualifications to run this one… However, do as each of you see fit, where the telling is concerned." He rubbed his head, ready to counter-act the newly forming headache that was Tobi… And Demyx… And Sora.  
"EVERYONE!" Tobi shouted, "TOBI WANTS TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!"  
"Oh, crap."  
"Tobi wants to say that Ni and Niz and the powers that be and the boss will be here soon."  
"Pein's already here."  
"We have not been entirely truthful with you," Pein nodded slowly and Zexion spoke, "Since the arrival of Ni and Nizoxe, the six of us assembled here have known the exact happenings of all matters. Due to the urgency of the matter, we refrained from telling you, as panic helps to repair the hole. The group of us, plus a few non-present associates, are collectively known as 'The Purple Hoodie gang'."

Two girls walked into the room, both brunettes. They wore purple hoodies, and carried large bags on their shoulders. They are known to the world as Charley and Bethany. Erin and Reizo followed close behind, muttering and giggling to one another.  
Bethany decided to speak up, "We work for a top secret government organisation, which is part of the UN. It's in charge of defending inter-fictional boundaries, and also repairing holes where ever they occur. We have at least two members in every alternative reality, although we rarely all meet up. Charley here is head of the away team, whilst I am in charge of paperwork."  
"What do you-?"  
"What's up, dudes?" a voice shouted. As most of the group looked confused, Itachi mentally groaned.  
"Charley," another voice muttered, "This is neither the time nor the place to be using such terminology. The boss will be here shortly, and the subordinates have already assembled."  
Vexen nodded his head to them.  
"Okay, who the hell are you?" Deidara asked.  
"I'm Charley, she's Bethany, and we're the powers that be. Well, some of them," Charley laughed.  
Bethany sighed, "Just remember – no singing. I don't want to have to talk us out of the country. Again. Oh, and Ni and Niz should be arriving shortly."  
The room flashed white.  
"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," someone muttered.  
Ni and Nizoxe stood in the centre of the room. Ni looked particularly tired, as she carried around her Deidara soft-toy. Charley laughed and pulled out a Hidan one.  
"Rock on, dudes!" the Hidan-carrying author shouted, as she turned the stereo up to full blast, and food appeared on the table.

"Sai…" Naime whispered.  
"Yes?" he asked.  
"Will you dance with me?"  
The boy took the girl, and they began to dance. It should have been elegant. It was messy. The music appeared from no-where, and many people joined in.  
Kisame and Demyx spent their time at the table of party snacks, Zetsu watching them hungrily.  
With the exception of Bethany, who was busy doing homework, and Nizoxe, who seemed to be having an argument inside her head, were having a fantastic time. Which may or may not have had something to do with the large amounts of alcohol and separate rooms?  
"Hey! Zexion! Try some of this… It tastes funny…" Demyx wobbled slightly, holding out a glass.  
"I can't. I'm underage," Zexion simply stated the fact, and then walked away to Bethany's homework corner, to read.

Six hours and nineteen bottles of vodka later, anime heaven was looking very much worse for wear. Tobi had accounted for ten bottles of Vodka, and was still no different from normal. Hidan accounted for another eight, and was currently hugging Kakuzu, "I looove yyou, Kakuzu…"  
"Get off."  
"But Kakuuuzzzuuu…"  
Ni laughed, pulling out a camera, "One for the fangirls! And one for the boys!"  
"You could make a fortune from them," Bethany muttered from the corner.  
"That's the idea!"  
"Hum… Charlotte, can you turn the music down. I need to finish this by first tomorrow."  
"You're seriously doing homework at the Akatsuki/Organisation death party?"  
"I work over 60 hours a week in school work alone and you ask me why I'm doing homework." She deadpanned.  
"You have time to write this thing, though…"  
"I'm not on half term now it's actually happening."  
"Ah."  
Bethany stood up, "Okay, so the time is now 12:29. Class starts at 12:55, so we have 24 minutes to sort out this mess! Hoodies form rank!" she very nearly air punched, but thought better of it.  
Immediately, Charley stood next to her, pulling up both their hoods to reveal their names in white italics on the back. Ni stood in front of Charley, and Nizoxe in front of Bethany. Zexion stood next to Nizoxe, Vexen next to him, and Axel next to the ice-wielder. Tobi hugged Ni, who hugged him back. Pein and Konan stood next to them, frowning deeply. All wore bright purple hoodies over their uniforms, the names of their somebody printed onto the back.  
"I want a Tobi hug…" Charley whined.  
"Tough," Bethany hissed.  
The room shone white again, as the more sane members of the group stood to attention. As the light faded, two men were revealed into the room.  
"Right, so now we've got to tell them that we ordered these guys to kill them so we could something from destroying their worlds, despite the fact that it was your fault for forgetting some 'candles' when performing your 'magic'?"  
"America," the shorter man's voice was unimpressed, "We're already here."  
"Wha-? Ah! Well, I'm America, that's Britain and we're here to resurrect you with my super-hero powers!"  
Britain elbowed him in the stomach, "If you have super hero powers, I'll eat my hat."  
"What hat?"  
"It's a figure of speech."  
"Well, I think nothing to your-!"  
"Err… Boss?" Bethany leant to one side, and waved at them, "And boss two?"  
"WHAT?"  
"It is necessary for me to return to class, as I'm on lunch break with ten minutes before physics starts, so can we finish this quickly."  
"Of course, I was about to-"  
"Now." Her eyes narrowed.  
America let out a scream.  
"Now, now, America. It's only a girl."  
"But there's nothing more deadly than an Englishwoman!"  
"And don't you forget it!" Charley air punched, "Even if I speak American more fluently due to cheap American TV shows, and cheesy dubs!"  
Bethany sighed, "7 minutes. I must leave in two."  
"Fine, fine. Seriously, you're worse than Germany," America flapped his hands around.  
"6."  
"Britain!"  
Britain rolled his eyes, "If everyone would please line up, I shall begin… Mungo jungo hissey mildew dumble groda nassa mucho!"  
The two countries disappeared in a flash of blue light, their flags lingering in the air slightly. The people in the room found themselves quickly transported to a roller coaster ride.  
"Hello, and welcome to the resurrection ride. Please keep your arms and legs inside the vehicle at all times, and inform the operator if you are pregnant, or suffer from motion sickness. The management accepts no responsibility for anything which may happen, and please enjoy the ride… And remember, there is nothing scarier than an Englishwoman in a bad mood!"  
As the ride kicked into action, the lights shone bright…

Epilogue of the Epilogue  
Charley was settling down for another night, with the Sound four and Kabuto still in the bathroom, when the laptop buzzed.  
"What?" she opened her email, "Seriously? Bethany's never up this late."  
She opened the email, and her face fell.

_Hey C.B, it's Froggie.  
I think we have a problem – check volume 28, and put Kabuto on standby. I think the boss went wrong.  
And I'll see you 6am._

"Oh crap."


End file.
